A lot of places in the world relyon tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantegs and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
tourism
generates a significant portion of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too.
This
essay will examine
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
advantages and disadvantages of
tourism
and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of
developed
Add an article
the developed
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tourism
industry are
boost
Correct article usage
a boost
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in
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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economy and a large number of new job openings for the local people.
Firstly
, tourists spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services.
This
way,
tourism
yields
and
Correct word choice
apply
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additional income, greatly supporting the
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
economies.
Secondly
,
tourism
increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs.
For instance
, the influx of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
results and employees of retail services, exhorting business
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
to hire more people for the positions.
However
,
tourism
also
has some major disadvantages like
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
of popular tourist
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
and illegal economic activities. Ani
Submitted by alifahmad1799 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. The conclusion is missing a final summary and your opinion on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure by making sure every paragraph has a clear central idea and supports it with relevant examples. Transition words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'however' help, but consider linking ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details. For instance, when discussing illegal economic activities, provide more context or examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Edit for spelling and grammatical errors, and ensure logical coherence within sentences. For example, 'tourism yields and additional income' should be 'tourism yields additional income.'
supported main points
You’ve identified clear advantages like boosting the economy and creating jobs, which are well-supported.
logical structure
Your use of cohesive devices like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'however' to structure your ideas is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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