A lot of places in the world relyon tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantegs and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

#places #world #relyon #tourism #source #income #advantegs #outweight

Nowdays

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

tourism

generates a significant portion of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too.

This

essay will examine

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

advantages and disadvantages of

tourism

and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of

developed

Add an article

the developed

show examples

tourism

industry are

boost

Correct article usage

a boost

show examples

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

economy and a large number of new job openings for the local people.

Firstly

, tourists spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services.

This

way,

tourism

yields

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

additional income, greatly supporting the

countries

Change noun form

country's

countries'

show examples

economies.

Secondly

tourism

increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs.

For instance

, the influx of

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

results and employees of retail services, exhorting business

owner

Fix the agreement mistake

owners

show examples

to hire more people for the positions.

However

tourism

also

has some major disadvantages like

destruction

Add an article

the destruction

show examples

of popular tourist

destination

Fix the agreement mistake

destinations

show examples

and illegal economic activities. Ani

Submitted by alifahmad1799 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. The conclusion is missing a final summary and your opinion on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

Improve the structure by making sure every paragraph has a clear central idea and supports it with relevant examples. Transition words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'however' help, but consider linking ideas more fluidly.

task achievement

Add more specific examples and details. For instance, when discussing illegal economic activities, provide more context or examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Edit for spelling and grammatical errors, and ensure logical coherence within sentences. For example, 'tourism yields and additional income' should be 'tourism yields additional income.'

supported main points

You’ve identified clear advantages like boosting the economy and creating jobs, which are well-supported.

logical structure

Your use of cohesive devices like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'however' to structure your ideas is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

139 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A lot of places in the world relyon tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantegs and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

some people think that strict punishments should be given to people over traffic accidents. Other think that other measures can help more to reduce the traffic accidents. discuss both views and give your opinion

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.