Imagine that a company plans to build an industry in your hometown. Discuss the factory might improve your community. Do you favour or oppose to build in your community. Give reasons and examples.
Nowadays, the industrial expansion seems unstoppable. The building of new factories close to towns is
matter
of debate among the Add an article
a matter
population
. In this
essay, we will discuss how the new manufacture
plants can improve the incomes and financial stability of the Replace the word
manufacturing
population
of the cities and on the other hand
, how the pollution can affect the quality of life. Although
in my opinion, the benefits are higher than the drawbacks.
Correct word choice
However
Firstly
, the creation of industry
in a town always seems like a benefit for that particular place. A new manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
industry
needs a lot of manpower, thus
ensuring the availability of all kinds of jobs among the local population
. For example
, in my town, an enormous car factory employs around 2000 workers in
each turn. Change preposition
at
As a consequence
, the employments
rates are high, Change the noun form
employment
in contrast
with other towns without industry
, that suffer higher
unemployment rate. Correct article usage
a higher
Thus
, creating wealth for the local population
.
In contrast
, the creation of industrial parks near towns may set a drawback in the environmental aspect. The industries may contaminate the air, the water, the flora and fauna or all at the same time. As an example, in the region is
a paper factory that in Correct pronoun usage
there is
the
recent years contaminated 10000 Correct article usage
apply
liters
of water from the Change the spelling
litres
near
river. Correct word choice
nearby
As a result
, an enormous number of local fishes
died and the fishing Fix the agreement mistake
fish
industry
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffered
the
Correct article usage
apply
backfire
. If the industrial complex does not respect Wrong verb form
backfired
the
environmental laws, the local biosphere will suffer the consequences.
Correct article usage
apply
On
conclusion, the creation of new Change preposition
In
manufacture
is beneficial for the economy of the zone, ensuring an income for the Replace the word
manufacturing
population
. However
, we need to enforce the
environmental regulations to ensure the stability of the local habitat and avoid the possible drawbacks that the Correct article usage
apply
industry
may create. In order to achieve the gigantic benefits that a new industry
proportionate.Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear structure and covers the main points of the topic. To improve your score, consider elaborating further on your examples and their impact, as this will provide more depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a good logical flow to your essay, but pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly disrupts the readability. Revising such areas can make your essay smoother.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and offer a clear perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your main points are clearly presented and supported with relevant examples, which help to substantiate your arguments.
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