IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think visual images (like photographs and video) can tell information more accurately in a news story. Others think they are not reliable sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #images #photographs #video #information #news #story #sources
It is said that by a few individuals,
News
 stories can be best described by the visuals
While
 others argue with them by saying that
this
source
 of
information
 is unreliable. I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
 way of conveying
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 is correct to some extent. On the one hand, In
recent
Add an article
the recent
show examples
 era, when the
source
 of
information
 is limited. Only
this
source
(photography) is first invented by the researchers. Later on
visual
Fix the agreement mistake
visuals
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 potent
source
 of
information
 globally.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, it can
also
 be used on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
news
Change preposition
on news
show examples
 channels.
For example
,
One
Fix capitalization
one
show examples
 of the international
news
channel
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channels
show examples
 BBC ( British Broadcaster Channel )
used
Wrong verb form
uses
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 visuals either it is photos or
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
videos
 to
potray
Correct your spelling
portray
 all the
news
 globally.
Thus
, It is considered to be the best way to
deliever
Correct your spelling
deliver
 all the
information
 despite of any category.
On the other hand
, Technological advancement leads to the development of different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of applications that use visuals and manipulate them into the desired one. Recently,
This
 method can be used in many kinds of illegal acts
such
 as robbery, blackmailing etc
For instance
, In
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 from 2005 to 2020 hundred thousands of cases
report
Wrong verb form
were reported
show examples
to
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apply
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cyber
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 that can be linked to
illegal
Correct article usage
the illegal
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 use of pictures that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been created by different
softwear
Correct your spelling
software
.
Hence
, these fake images will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 thinking of the individuals
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of credibility of
news
. It is concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
photography
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 correctly but it is limited to
Add an article
a
show examples
certain
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 only. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will suggest all the individuals
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
verify all the
news
 before making any
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
show examples
.
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on

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coherence cohesion
It's important to provide a clearer structure to your essay. Start with a more focused introduction that clearly states both views and your opinion. Then, follow with distinct paragraphs for each view, providing balanced arguments for both sides. End with a strong conclusion that reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that each point you make is supported by relevant and detailed examples. This will not only strengthen your argument but also make your essay more convincing. Try to provide more precise examples that directly support your points.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion which provide a structure to the essay.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss both views and give examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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