IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below show the stages in the recycling of aluminum drinks can.

The diagram below show the stages in the recycling of aluminum drinks can.
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The provided diagram illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of how recycling
aluminium
Use synonyms
 beverage
cans
Use synonyms
. In general,
that is
Linking Words
 a largely mechanical
process
Use synonyms
 that includes three main stages, beginning with collecting
cans
Use synonyms
 from bins and ending with supplying products for vending machines. Having looked at the given chart for more details, first of all, wasted
cans
Use synonyms
 which are thrown by residents are collected from the bins and put into boxes loaded onto trucks.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these trucks will deliver the wasted
cans
Use synonyms
 to recycled factories or firms where the
cans
Use synonyms
 will be compressed into blocks.
Next,
Linking Words
the
process
Use synonyms
 continues with these blocks experiencing a recycling plant.
Firstly
Linking Words
, old
aluminium
Use synonyms
 is melted down and transferred into new
aluminium
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
aluminium
Use synonyms
 sheets are flattened and rolled into new
cans
Use synonyms
. After that, these recycled
cans
Use synonyms
 will be transported to the drinks machine.
Finally
Linking Words
, inhabitants buy the
aluminium
Use synonyms
 beverage
cans
Use synonyms
 from the wedding machines and the
process
Use synonyms
 starts again.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, aluminium, cans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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