Task 1 The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999

Task 1 The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999
The line graph
illustreres
Correct your spelling
illustrates
illustrious
visitors to and from
british
Correct your spelling
Britain
between 1979 to 1999.
while
the bar chart gives information about the most famous nations visited by
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
residents
in 1999.
overall
, it is clear from the bar graph that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France topped the
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
visited by
UK
sidents
Correct your spelling
residents
in 1999 ,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Turkey was the lowest
country
. The number of
visits
abroad by
UK
residents
increased sharply over the given period .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
visits
to the
UK
by overseas
residents
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
up gradually. The number of people who
visits
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
abroad by
UK
residents
in 1979 increased from around 14
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
to exactly 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Then
after 1984 it
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
raised
rises
quickly to more than 50
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. In 1979 the
visits
Correct quantifier usage
number of visits
show examples
to the
UK
by overseas
residents
were 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, and it
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
up gradually over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time until it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 28
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. The
most
Capitalize word
Most
show examples
Popular
Country
visited was more than 10 million it was
millions
of
UK
visitors. In the second top
country
was
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
and it was less than 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
In contrast
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
and Greece
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
nearly 4 to 5
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK
visitors respectively. In 1999 the lowest
country
where visited by
UK
residents
was Turkey.
Submitted by bushra.2001.mb on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words residents, uk, country, visits, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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