Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?
Working is a crucial matter nowadays
thus
,a group of students are leaving the school's courses, through this
action it will has
a negative impact on the society later. In Change the verb form
have
this
essay, I shall elaborate on the available solutions for this
problem also
, I shall give my opinion.
Correct word choice
and also
To begin
with, the notion of departure from the studying stages leds
to significant disadvantages Correct your spelling
leads
on
the individual Change preposition
for
as well as
the community, furthermore
, the nation arises by the knowledge.schooling
Capitalize word
Schooling
learns
Verb problem
teaches
the
folks to be a Correct article usage
apply
well
Change the adverb
good
employer
in the future. Fix the agreement mistake
employers
Besides
, it provided a chance to live in a good life style
level. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
For example
: the scientist hasing
a good salary that Correct your spelling
having
enable
them to buy a house and car as a price for Change the verb form
enables
them
experience.
Change the pronoun
their
On the other hand
, the concept of promoting the students to reback
and entry Correct your spelling
return
in
schooling institutions is a Change preposition
into
nessessary
issue, via Correct your spelling
necessary
temptation
them in a free fess through suppling Replace the word
tempting
a government universities
. Correct the article-noun agreement
government universities
a government university
Additionally
, reducing the time in university days consequently
, providing a youth activity course aside Correct word choice
and consequently
with
the learning courses, Change preposition
from
to
makes the student eager to go to Verb problem
apply
this
institution.
Example
: encouraging the exits of gardens inside each university Change preposition
For example
aiding
in Wrong verb form
aids
make
the pupils relax Wrong verb form
making
as well as
a space to breathe a
fresh air.
To sum it up, education is a significant matter in our time nowadays, the idea of dropping out Remove the article
apply
from
school Change preposition
of
it
has a huge negative effect on society and Correct pronoun usage
apply
community
as well.the idea of encouraging the student to return to complete their education Correct article usage
the community
via
supplying a comfortable option. Change preposition
by
It is clear that
the
motivation Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
aids in Correct pronoun usage
apply
driven
them to Change the form of the verb
driving
teaching
stages.
I totally agree with the idea of completing the teaching stages and improving themselves by learning and reading, Correct article usage
the teaching
therefore
, the country will be introduce
by Change the verb form
be introduced
this
Correct determiner usage
these
elitic
groups.Correct your spelling
elite
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task achievement
To improve your task response, try to provide more specific examples and explanations to support your ideas. This will help to clearly illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing. For instance, instead of general statements, you could cite particular studies or real-life cases where governmental incentives have effectively reduced dropout rates.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and ensure that these ideas logically flow from one to the next. This will enhance the coherence of your argument and make it easier for the reader to follow your reasoning. You might find it helpful to create an outline before you start writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and makes an effort to address the problem of young people dropping out of school. You provide both the negative consequences of this issue and potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, which helps to frame your discussion and summarize your main points. This adds to the overall structure and aids in keeping your argument focused.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.