IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The rise of social media has affected personal relatioships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Social
media
Use synonyms
 has undeniably transformed the way
people
Use synonyms
 communicate, offering instant connectivity across the globe.
While
Linking Words
 it has brought significant changes to personal
relationships
Use synonyms
 and society, the debate remains
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 its benefits outweigh the potential drawbacks. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will argue that
although
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 has certain negative effects, its advantages in enhancing
communication
Use synonyms
, fostering global connections, and providing new opportunities for interaction far outweigh these disadvantages. On the one hand, social
media
Use synonyms
 has introduced several challenges, particularly concerning personal
relationships
Use synonyms
. Many critics argue that online
communication
Use synonyms
 lacks the emotional depth of face-to-face
interactions
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, non-verbal cues
such
Linking Words
 as body language and facial expressions are often lost in digital conversations, potentially leading to misunderstandings.
Additionally
Linking Words
, excessive use of social
media
Use synonyms
 may result in
people
Use synonyms
 becoming isolated from real-life
interactions
Use synonyms
. Individuals who spend an inordinate amount of time on platforms like Instagram or Facebook might prioritize virtual
relationships
Use synonyms
 over physical ones, leading to weaker bonds with family and friends.
However
Linking Words
, the benefits of social
media
Use synonyms
 in modern
communication
Use synonyms
 are substantial. First and foremost, it enables
people
Use synonyms
 to maintain
relationships
Use synonyms
 over long distances. In today’s increasingly globalized world, social
media
Use synonyms
 allows friends, families, and colleagues to stay connected despite geographic barriers. Platforms
such
Linking Words
 as WhatsApp or Skype provide affordable and convenient ways for
people
Use synonyms
 to interact, share updates, and collaborate on personal or professional matters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 encourages cultural exchange and broadens perspectives. Individuals can easily connect with
people
Use synonyms
 from diverse backgrounds, allowing them to learn about different cultures, ideas, and experiences.
For instance
Linking Words
, language exchange groups or cultural forums on social
media
Use synonyms
 enable users to enhance their language skills or gain insights into other traditions.
Such
Linking Words
interactions
Use synonyms
 would be far more difficult without these platforms. Another crucial advantage is that social
media
Use synonyms
 has become a powerful tool for businesses and communities. Entrepreneurs use it to promote their products, reach a broader audience, and engage directly with consumers.
Additionally
Linking Words
, non-profit organizations rely on social
media
Use synonyms
 to spread awareness and mobilize support for social causes.
This
Linking Words
 has had a positive impact on both local and global communities, enabling faster dissemination of information and the ability to organize events or campaigns with ease. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the rise of social
media
Use synonyms
 does present certain disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as the potential for weakening face-to-face
relationships
Use synonyms
, its advantages in fostering
communication
Use synonyms
, cultural exchange, and business opportunities far outweigh these concerns. As long as individuals use social
media
Use synonyms
 responsibly and balance it with real-world
interactions
Use synonyms
, it can serve as a powerful tool for enhancing personal
relationships
Use synonyms
 and benefiting society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider using a few more specific examples to strengthen the arguments and make them more relatable. For instance, referencing specific studies or statistics about social media usage could provide more tangible evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. This will help enhance the logical flow and ensure each point remains tightly connected to the main argument.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay’s argument and tying together the main points.
logical structure
The logical structure is well-organized with distinct paragraphs for each point. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth and maintain the flow of the essay.
complete response
You presented a balanced argument by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, and then convincingly argued in favor of the advantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: