Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Illegal downloading on the Internet is becoming more and more common. Some
people
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suggest that
this
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is having an adverse impact on
music
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artists
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and on the
music
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industry
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. Others suggest that it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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little impact or
influences
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influence
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on
artists
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. Personally, I agree that
this
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could cause losses in the
music
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industry
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.52
It is clear that
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profit
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from the
on sale
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on-sale
show examples
albums and digital albums on the
music
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platform
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is the largest part of
Correct article usage
the artist
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artist
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artist's
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income.
These
Change the determiner
This profit
These profits
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profit
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would
be divide
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be divided
show examples
into different
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
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and
give
Wrong verb form
given
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to the entertainment company and the artist.
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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illegal Internet downloads could decrease the
profit
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especially the
profit
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from digital
album
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albums
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because
people
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tend to use
music
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platforms currently, and they would tend to use the free way to listen to
music
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although
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they know it is an illegal way.
Furthermore
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, not only
artists
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would be affected by the illegal downloads but
also
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the whole
music
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industry
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.
The large-scale
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Large-scale
show examples
illegal downloading could discourage
artists
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and they would not have enough passion to create
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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songs.
Additionally
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, the legal
music
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Correct your spelling
platform
plaatform
Correct your spelling
platform
would be affected because the
platform
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to pay a huge amount of money for the
music
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copyright fee to the
artists
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to include songs, but the
platform
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could only earn money from the digital album and the membership fee.218 Another group of
people
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suggest that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal
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download
Fix the agreement mistake
downloads
show examples
have little impact on both
artists
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and
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music
Correct article usage
the music
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industry
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. They believe that
artists
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could earn a considerable
profit
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in a single concert, so the less
profit
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from the
music
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platform
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would not bring serious problems to the
artists
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.
Besides
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, the illegal
download
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helps some new
artists
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to be more famous because the audience
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
willing to listen to free but
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
music
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. It is a way for the
artists
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to increase popularity.
In addition
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,
people
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have strong stress from their
career
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careers
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and most of them only get a low-standard salary, the illegal
download
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offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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people
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opportunities to enjoy
music
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without paying the membership fee to the
music
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platform
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. 336 In conclusion,
while
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there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of advantages the illegal
download
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bring
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brings
show examples
to the audience, there are many drawbacks to the
music
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industry
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.
Besides
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, It would affect the process of the
music
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distribution.369
Submitted by janejaspar on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention a specific artist or situation affected by illegal downloads.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for clearer expression.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader on what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas; make each point distinct to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have covered both views of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and serve their purposes well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal downloads
  • financial losses
  • record labels
  • decrease in sales
  • perception
  • undermine
  • upcoming artists
  • pirated
  • exposure
  • concert attendance
  • merchandise sales
  • alternative revenue streams
  • live performances
  • sponsorships
  • streaming platforms
  • business models
  • loyal fan base
  • adapt
  • mitigate
  • thrive
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