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Band 4.5

Some people think that in school discipline should be the job of teacher whereas some believe it is the parent's accountability. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #school #discipline #job #teacher #believe #parent #accountability
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It is widely known that
discipline
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 in
school
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 is a very important topic.
Children
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, by nature, are very playful and need rules to prevent them from misbehaving.
Nervertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, there are conflicting opinions on whether disciplining
children
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 is a teacher's or a
parent
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's job. The time spent in schools and the role of parenting are pivotal points in
this
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 debate. Discussing both
point
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points
show examples
 of
views
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view
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
 analysing both arguments is necessary before arriving
to
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at
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conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
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. It is agreed by many people that
discipline
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 in schools is the teachers' task.
Children
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 spend 7
hours
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 on average in class. During these
hours
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, they are involved
many
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in many
show examples
 different activities which require good
behaving
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behaviour
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 and order. Sadly, parents can not be involved in teaching students morals in these times and only teachers can accomplish
this
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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support
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supports
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 the argument that in
school
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discipline
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 is a teacher's job.
In
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On
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contrary
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the contrary
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, plenty of others believe in the opposite that it is the
parent
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's accountability. It is the parents' role to teach their
children
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 morals and to prepare them for socializing with others.
furthermore
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, parenting should
idealy
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ideally
had
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have
show examples
 taken place years before
children
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 come to
school
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 age. Jordan Peterson, a
well known
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well-known
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 phsychologist, claims that if you have not prepared your child for socializing and have not taught him manners and
discipline
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 by the age of four,
then
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 you would have failed as a
parent
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. Teachers can not participate in
this
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 for preschool
children
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.
As a result
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, Many abide
with
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by
show examples
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
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 that it is a
parent
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's task.
To conclude
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,
although
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 it is
univeraly
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universally
 agreed that disciplining
children
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 is important, yet many disagree on whose responsibility
this
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 is. The fact that kids
spends
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spend
show examples
 many
hours
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 daily in schools
,
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apply
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 and the fact about the best timing for the initiation of teaching were used by both groups to support their claims. I personally think that
discipline
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 is a parents' task.
However
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, collaboration in and out of
school
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hours
Use synonyms
 will
yeild
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yield
 the best results.
Submitted by tareq.kj on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is fully supported and developed to add depth to your essay.
logical structure
While the essay flows well, consider making your transition sentences even clearer to improve logical structure.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively outlines the main points of the discussion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion is clear and effectively summarizes the main arguments while providing a personal opinion.
complete response
The main points are clearly identified and discussed, showing a balanced view of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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