Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.'

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A big issue currently concerning the
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

industry is illegal downloading. Some people consider that unlawful internet downloads have a huge impact on
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

music
Add an article
the music

The noun phrase music market seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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market.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other
Fix the agreement mistake
others

It seems that other may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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state that there is no damage caused to
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

music
Correct article usage
the music

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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industry by internet
download
Fix the agreement mistake
downloads

It seems that download may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In my opinion, when
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and musicians do not earn enough from their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,they will be less motivated to create new
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It is well known that
artists
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and musicians
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

very hard to create new songs.In
fact
Add a comma
fact,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In fact. Consider adding a comma.

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they pay a lot of money for production companies and
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers

It seems that producer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to introduce new and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality

It seems that high quality is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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songs on the market.It can take
month
Add an article
a month

The noun phrase month seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to produce one song .
Artists
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

often rely on income from their
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to sustain their careers.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reason
Add a comma
reason,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For this reason. Consider adding a comma.

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they need to earn money to progress and to be motivated and follow their
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to keep it updated.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,free
downlaod
Correct your spelling
downloads

If you don’t want downlaod to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

might affect their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because people may not be interested in buying their CDs if they have to pay for them
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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As well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there must be a restriction for each
downloads
Change to a singular noun
download

The singular quantifier each is followed by the plural noun downloads. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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to respect copyright. On the other
hans
Correct your spelling
hand

If you don’t want hans to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, it is evident that technology has invaded
world
Add an article
the world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and everybody uses the internet.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

downloading could help musicians and
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

be more famous.Because of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people would be able to listen to
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

everywhere. If a song becomes widely shared, it can attract new fans who might not have discovered the artist
otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,even though there are some benefits to the artist of illegal downloading ,the drawbacks generally outweigh those benefits

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention some statistics or specific cases where illegal downloads have impacted or not impacted musicians.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with grammar and punctuation to maintain clarity. Ensure each sentence is clear and error-free to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
While the main ideas are clear, work on organizing them more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and that they follow a logical sequence.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states your opinion.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt to discuss both views, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal downloads
  • financial losses
  • record labels
  • decrease in sales
  • perception
  • undermine
  • upcoming artists
  • pirated
  • exposure
  • concert attendance
  • merchandise sales
  • alternative revenue streams
  • live performances
  • sponsorships
  • streaming platforms
  • business models
  • loyal fan base
  • adapt
  • mitigate
  • thrive
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