Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.'

A big issue currently concerning the
music
industry is illegal
download
Fix the agreement mistake
downloads
show examples
. Some people consider that unlawful internet downloads have a huge impact on
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
market.
While
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
state that there is no damage caused to
artists
or
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
industry by internet
download
Fix the agreement mistake
downloads
show examples
. In my opinion, when
artists
and musicians don´t earn enough from their work ,they will be less motivated to create new
music
. It is well known that
artists
and musicians work very hard to create
a new songs
Correct the article-noun agreement
new songs
a new song
show examples
.In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
they
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
a lot of money for production companies and tune
producter
Correct your spelling
producer
to introduce
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
and
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
quality of songs on the market.Sometimes they stay
all
Change preposition
up all
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night
awake
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to assemble the words with the tune and produce one song.
Artists
often rely on income from their
music
to sustain their careers.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
they need to earn money to progress and to be motivated and follow their work to keep it
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
.
Furthermore
,free downloads will
affected
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
their works and their
CD´s
Change noun form
CD
show examples
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
so people are not interested
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
because they are able to listen free for any songs without paying money.
Instead
of selling their CD very quickly,they will stay on the shop´s stand.
As well as
there must be a restriction for each
downloads
Change to a singular noun
download
show examples
to respect copyright.
On the other hand
, as we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
technology invaded the world and everybody
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
the internet.
This
download
could help musicians and
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
being
Verb problem
become
show examples
more famous.In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
people are able to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
music
everywhere. If a song becomes widely shared, it can attract new fans who might not have discovered the artist
otherwise
.
To conclude
,
although
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of illegal
download
on the artist ,the drawbacks of illegal downloading
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
Correct your spelling
potential
Correct article usage
the potentiel
show examples
potentiel
Correct your spelling
potential
upsides
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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer structure within paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Examples make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity and coherence. Better control over language mechanics will enhance understanding.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both perspectives on the issue. You've made a balanced effort to address different views.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion. Both are present and effectively framed.
task achievement
The essay conveys a genuine understanding of the topic and presents thoughtful viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal downloads
  • financial losses
  • record labels
  • decrease in sales
  • perception
  • undermine
  • upcoming artists
  • pirated
  • exposure
  • concert attendance
  • merchandise sales
  • alternative revenue streams
  • live performances
  • sponsorships
  • streaming platforms
  • business models
  • loyal fan base
  • adapt
  • mitigate
  • thrive
What to do next:
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