IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#process #sheep #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates how to process cloning a
sheep
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are six main stages, beginning
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 cells
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 from different
sheep
Use synonyms
 and ending with the birth of cloned
sheep
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we need to prepare two different female
sheep
Use synonyms
 which
then
Linking Words
 they categorized as A and B.
Then
Linking Words
, body
Use synonyms
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
 and egg
Use synonyms
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
 are taken from the A
sheep
Use synonyms
 and B
sheep
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, DNA is extracted from the body
cell
Use synonyms
 and the egg
cell
Use synonyms
 is separated from its nucleus,
then
Linking Words
, both of these processed cells are combined
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next step.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the egg
cell
Use synonyms
 of B
sheep
Use synonyms
 is inserted
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
DNA
Correct article usage
the DNA
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 A
sheep
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the cells are combined and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fused
Use synonyms
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
, it grows into an embryo, which is the fourth step of the cloning process. Moving to the fifth stage, the embryo is planted in the uterus of
foster
Correct article usage
the foster
show examples
 mother,
calling as
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
 C
sheep
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the C
sheep
Use synonyms
 gives birth to a lamb, which is
genetic
Add an article
a genetic
show examples
 clone of
sheep
Use synonyms
 A.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sheep, cell with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: