Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, a big gap between skilled
Correct article usage
the lowest
lowest paid
jobs and the Add a hyphen
lowest-paid
highest paid
jobs has been arising, some argue that Add a hyphen
highest-paid
this
difference should be reduced. I strongly disagree with Correct determiner usage
this opinoin
opinoin
because the difference in salary Correct your spelling
opinion
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
employees
improve self- value
and Correct your spelling
self-value
personalities
, but Fix the agreement mistake
personality
als
Correct your spelling
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
company's
income.
Correct article usage
the company's
Firstly
, to get a jobs
with good pay, the workers are required a Correct the article-noun agreement
job
hight
qualification, and multiple sort skills. They usually work harder than those who have lower Correct your spelling
high
wageds
, Correct your spelling
wages
take
more Correct word choice
and take
responsibilites
. SoCorrect your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
that
, Correct word choice
apply
employees
need to improve their qualify and personalities in order to meet the company
Change noun form
company's
demanding
. Replace the word
demands
Moreover
, working for company
in which Add an article
a company
the company
employees
received
good Wrong verb form
receive
paid
is Replace the word
pay
great
competitive Correct article usage
a great
invironment
, leading to Correct your spelling
environment
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
have
to work Wrong verb form
having
productive
, and Change the word
productively
creative
. Change the word
creatively
As a result
, people foster their skills and personalities to become better.
On top of that, getting a
highest paid job is motivation for Correct article usage
the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
work
harder, Fix the infinitive
to work
smarter
. Many Correct word choice
and smarter
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
perfer
hiringCorrect your spelling
prefer
Add an article
a
worker
with good salary Fix the agreement mistake
workers
offerd
. The reason for doing it is that qualified Correct your spelling
offered
employees
ten
to make more products than Correct your spelling
tend
inqualified
workers. Correct your spelling
unqualified
qualified
in qualified
Sequently
, they make more profit for Correct your spelling
Consequently
company
. Add an article
the company
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
the
economic development of Change preposition
to the
country
.
In conclusion, Add an article
the country
a country
it is clear that
making the
Correct article usage
a
differnce
in paying Correct your spelling
difference
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
have
several benefits not only for Change the verb form
has
employees
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for employers.Submitted by tranghathu16hd on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and sets up your main points more effectively. Your current introduction is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical mistakes.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to ensure your ideas are conveyed more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to better structure your paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words and phrases) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your key points and reinforce your position.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is a good starting point.
task achievement
You attempt to offer several reasons to support your argument, demonstrating an effort to back up your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a basic structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.