Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a big gap between
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
lowest paid
Add a hyphen
lowest-paid
show examples
jobs and the
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
show examples
jobs has been arising, some argue that
this
difference should be reduced. I strongly disagree with
Correct determiner usage
this opinoin
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opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
because the difference in salary
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
employees
improve
self- value
Correct your spelling
self-value
show examples
and
personalities
Fix the agreement mistake
personality
show examples
, but
als
Correct your spelling
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
income.
Firstly
, to get a
jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
job
show examples
with good pay, the workers are required a
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
qualification, and multiple sort skills. They usually work harder than those who have lower
wageds
Correct your spelling
wages
,
take
Correct word choice
and take
show examples
more
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
employees
need to improve their qualify and personalities in order to meet the
company
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company's
show examples
demanding
Replace the word
demands
show examples
.
Moreover
, working for
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
in which
employees
received
Wrong verb form
receive
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good
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
is
great
Correct article usage
a great
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competitive
invironment
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environment
, leading to
worker
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workers
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
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to work
productive
Change the word
productively
show examples
, and
creative
Change the word
creatively
show examples
.
As a result
, people foster their skills and personalities to become better. On top of that, getting
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
highest paid job is motivation for
worker
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workers
show examples
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
harder,
smarter
Correct word choice
and smarter
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. Many
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
hiring
Add an article
a
show examples
skilled
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
with good salary
offerd
Correct your spelling
offered
. The reason for doing it is that qualified
employees
ten
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
to make more products than
inqualified
Correct your spelling
unqualified
qualified
in qualified
workers.
Sequently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, they make more profit for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
economic development of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
making
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
differnce
Correct your spelling
difference
in paying
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
several benefits not only for
employees
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
for employers.
Submitted by tranghathu16hd on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and sets up your main points more effectively. Your current introduction is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical mistakes.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to ensure your ideas are conveyed more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to better structure your paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words and phrases) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your key points and reinforce your position.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is a good starting point.
task achievement
You attempt to offer several reasons to support your argument, demonstrating an effort to back up your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a basic structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable society
  • poverty levels
  • economic stimulation
  • social unrest
  • social cohesion
  • pay gap
  • solidarity
  • alienation
  • morale
  • productivity
  • higher education
  • challenging roles
  • innovation
  • growth
  • exorbitant salaries
  • fair compensation
  • essential services
  • balanced salary structure
  • adequately compensated
  • competitive edge
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute wealth
  • public investment
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