Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?
In our
days Change preposition
Our
the
families are not Correct article usage
apply
close
as it was in the past. Rephrase
as close
This
happens because nowadays people have less time
to spend with their relatives
or choose to use that time
in other activities like playing videogames
or watching Correct your spelling
video games
tv
. Correct your spelling
TV
This
has some benefits, like having more time
to yourself and less
issues with your family, but Change the quantifier
fewer
on the other hand
, also
have
some drawbacks like the lack of family Correct subject-verb agreement
has
support
.
Firstly
, the advantages. You can ask yourself if there is any advantage of
not having a strong Change preposition
to
relation
with your Replace the word
relationship
relatives
. And the answer is yes. If you do not have a close relation
with your family, you can spend more Replace the word
relationship
time
on yourself, doing what you consider beneficial for you without the interference of your relatives
. For example
, you can spend your free time
playing music or watching TV without worries about your family. Thus
, ensuring that you have less stress and a plethora of time
to spend on yourself.
On the other hand
, lacking connection with your families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
also
have some drawbacks. The most important one is lack
of family Correct article usage
the lack
support
when you need it. As an example, when you suffer a thought illness like a
cancer or need to be hospitalized, you do not have any kind of Change the article
apply
support
from your family, and that is
a mental and financial drawback. Thus
, this
fault of support
in the hard times can and for sure will make it harder without the backing of your closest ones.
On
conclusion, the absence of family Change preposition
In
support
that is
widespread on
Change preposition
in
the
actual society has some benefits, some are important like having more Correct article usage
apply
time
for yourself. But, besides
that, you will lack the kind of support
that your relatives
can proportionate you. Thus
, making your life a lot harder on hard times. On
conclusion, it is necessary for everybody to keep a strong Change preposition
In
relation
with their closest ones in order to achieve a more stable life.Replace the word
relationship
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task response
While the essay addresses the topic and both the advantages and disadvantages, it could benefit from a bit more depth and specific examples. Try to elaborate more on the points mentioned to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions well into the next.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a distinct focus, which helps in organizing your essay.
task response
You have touched on both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?