Some people say History is obe of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History

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Some
people
think that
History
is one of the most extraordinary school
subjects
.
However
, Others believe that, nowadays,
subjects
like
Science
and
Technology
are more critical than
History
. In my opinion, I think that both views are equally crucial. On the one hand, it is believed by some
people
that
History
subject
is one of the most important
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
. In fact, if
people
have not learned the
History
subject
there will be holes in their education quality.
Moreover
,
people
who will study
History
subject
will have enough knowledge about the armies between the countries. A study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
King Saud University concluded that 85% of students who studied
History
in the
schools
have lots of data about their culture.
As a result
,
History
subject
should be studied in
schools
.
On the other hand
, other
people
suppose that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these days,
subjects
like
Science
and
Technology
are more essential than
History
.
In other words
, students should focus on
Science
and
Technology
more than focusing in
History
.
In addition
,
schools
are focusing on these
subjects
because of the importance
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the future for jobs.
For instance
, my brother found his job directly after his graduation
due to
his knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
these
subjects
, but my cousin has more information about
history
, so he does not have a job yet.
Therefore
,
Science
and
Technology
are important for jobs.
To sum up
, it can be said that some
people
think
history
is more important,
while
others believe that studying
Science
and
Technology
will be more effective. In perspective, I think that
history
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
science
and
technology
should be studied equally in
schools
.
Submitted by moha.aleid2017 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Adding transitional phrases and dissecting paragraphs clearly can help the reader follow the essay more easily.
task achievement
While the essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt, ensure that your main points are comprehensively supported with relevant examples and additional details. This will demonstrate a stronger grasp of the subjects discussed in your essay.
task achievement
Regarding task response, while your personal opinion is clearly stated, try to balance the explanation for both sides more evenly before discussing your own perspective. Offering counterarguments and refuting them effectively can fortify the essay further.
task achievement
The essay started with a clear introduction that specifies both viewpoints and offers a balanced stance, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes the arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, main body, and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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