It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
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In
this
day and age, it has become increasingly prevelent
for people to believe that Correct your spelling
prevalent
young
generation should be alert regarding Correct article usage
the young
differences
between right and wrong, and parents should punish their Correct article usage
the differences
child
for their mistakes. I personally agree with Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
notion and there should be a line related to punishment
.
There are two primary reasons why I believe punishing plays a vital role in helping children
aware their
flaws. The first reason is that Change preposition
of their
children
after make
Change the verb form
making
mistake
tends to forget, which can be harmful to their growth. Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
Punishment
by parents and others can help them remember their own detrimental works and not make it again. Another reason is that children
can learn a huge amount of lessons due to
their mistakes, thus
they have a tendency to forget it
so punish go along might Correct pronoun usage
them
left
themChange the verb form
leave
a
great impression. Change preposition
with a
For instance
, in Vietnam, kindergarten often offer
them a Change the verb form
offers
punishment
after
their negative works, which discipline them significantly.
Change preposition
for
However
, there are some punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
Correct pronoun usage
that are
are consider
to be brutal and individuals who Change the verb form
are considered
involved
should put a Add a missing verb
are involved
bourdaries
Correct your spelling
burden
in
Change preposition
on
this
regard. Firstly
, parents can hit their child with certain objects, nevertheless
some of them nowadays tend to hit their offspring with hard items. Add a comma
nevertheless,
This
might create a detrimental to the youngster both mentally and physically. Secondly
, there are some punishment
that might help the students to acknowledge their flaws in Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
shcools
. Correct your spelling
school
For example
, teacher
can mention their mistake to the whole class, making them Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
embarrasing
can help them to learn Correct your spelling
embarrassed
their
mistake.
In conclusion, Change preposition
from their
while
I believe that there are some
certain Correct quantifier usage
apply
punishment
that can help Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
children
to
distinguish right and wrong. Verb problem
apply
However
, individuals who participated should draw a line to hinder the negative impacts to some extent.Submitted by lahuyquan123 on
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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses both parts of the task. Your response concentrates more on the necessity of punishment but should also give equal weight to the types of punishment that should be allowed.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your main points and make sure each paragraph addresses one main idea. For example, one paragraph could focus on why punishment is necessary, and another could discuss appropriate types of punishment.
task response
Provide more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument. The example about Vietnam's kindergartens was a good start but could be elaborated further.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You provided a relevant example about kindergartens in Vietnam, which adds depth to your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.