It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

In
this
day and age, it has become increasingly
prevelent
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prevalent
for people to believe that
young
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the young
show examples
generation should be alert regarding
differences
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the differences
show examples
between right and wrong, and parents should punish their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
for their mistakes. I personally agree with
this
notion and there should be a line related to
punishment
. There are two primary reasons why I believe punishing plays a vital role in helping
children
aware
their
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of their
show examples
flaws. The first reason is that
children
after
make
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making
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mistake
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mistakes
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tends to forget, which can be harmful to their growth.
Punishment
by parents and others can help them remember their own detrimental works and not make it again. Another reason is that
children
can learn a huge amount of lessons
due to
their mistakes,
thus
they have a tendency to forget
it
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them
show examples
so punish go along might
left
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leave
show examples
them
a
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with a
show examples
great impression.
For instance
, in Vietnam, kindergarten often
offer
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offers
show examples
them a
punishment
after
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for
show examples
their negative works, which discipline them significantly.
However
, there are some
punishment
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punishments
show examples
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that are
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are consider
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are considered
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to be brutal and individuals who
involved
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are involved
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should put a
bourdaries
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burden
in
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on
show examples
this
regard.
Firstly
, parents can hit their child with certain objects,
nevertheless
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nevertheless,
show examples
some of them nowadays tend to hit their offspring with hard items.
This
might create a detrimental to the youngster both mentally and physically.
Secondly
, there are some
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
that might help the students to acknowledge their flaws in
shcools
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school
.
For example
,
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
show examples
can mention their mistake to the whole class, making them
embarrasing
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embarrassed
can help them to learn
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
mistake. In conclusion,
while
I believe that there are
some
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apply
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certain
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
that can help
children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
distinguish right and wrong.
However
, individuals who participated should draw a line to hinder the negative impacts to some extent.
Submitted by lahuyquan123 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses both parts of the task. Your response concentrates more on the necessity of punishment but should also give equal weight to the types of punishment that should be allowed.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your main points and make sure each paragraph addresses one main idea. For example, one paragraph could focus on why punishment is necessary, and another could discuss appropriate types of punishment.
task response
Provide more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument. The example about Vietnam's kindergartens was a good start but could be elaborated further.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You provided a relevant example about kindergartens in Vietnam, which adds depth to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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