IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
there is no denying the fact that
employee
Use synonyms
 should be paid for their
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that should decrease the gap in payment for
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument
opposes
Wrong verb form
opposing
show examples
 it.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion, I completely agree with
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 the range of payment for
Use synonyms
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the proponents the huge range in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 paid,
In other words
Linking Words
, they
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
employee
Correct article usage
the employee
show examples
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 his
job
Use synonyms
 and he
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 the highest pay because he desirve that amount.
Body paragraph 3
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 the company will
looking
Change the form of the verb
look
show examples
 for and hire
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
 with fewer
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 if
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
, for that we see the payment in 80% of
Add an article
the
a
show examples
private
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
more than
public
Add an article
a public
the public
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 based on CNBS news in 2020.
Body paragraph 4
Another point to consider,
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
 the margin in wages between
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 productivity . It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that having
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of income justice
employee
Use synonyms
 will do his
job
Use synonyms
 in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 way.
Body paragraph 5
Moreover
Linking Words
, relief
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 difference in income can improve
releation
Correct your spelling
relation
relations
 among employees,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 could create new
opporotunties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in development as
Use synonyms
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 has more
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 and
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
,
In
Linking Words
Addition
Add the comma(s)
Addition,
show examples
 reduce of difference reduce the hand over in companies
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 significant factors in
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
stabuility
Correct your spelling
stability
 and
continusility
Correct your spelling
continuity
 for
compony
Correct your spelling
company
show examples
 and prosperity.
Conclusion
In Conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 equitable
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ditribution
Correct your spelling
distribution
and
Correct article usage
an increaseing
show examples
increaseing
Correct your spelling
increase
 in productivity , I believe that
reducing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the difference between
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 and highest
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 Should be reduced.

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Grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity. Review the essay for common grammatical errors and improve overall sentence fluency.
Examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the points made. Real-life examples or statistical evidence can make arguments more convincing.
Coherence
Ensure each paragraph logically flows from one to the next. Using transitional phrases and connecting ideas can improve this aspect.
Content
Good effort in addressing both sides of the argument.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which support the development of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable society
  • poverty levels
  • economic stimulation
  • social unrest
  • social cohesion
  • pay gap
  • solidarity
  • alienation
  • morale
  • productivity
  • higher education
  • challenging roles
  • innovation
  • growth
  • exorbitant salaries
  • fair compensation
  • essential services
  • balanced salary structure
  • adequately compensated
  • competitive edge
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute wealth
  • public investment
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