Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disaster like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resources on educating people about their risks they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.

#attention #disaster #earthquakes #floods #governments #resources #people #risks #face #home #cost #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People

who live near places that have

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

facing

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

natural

disasters

such

earthquakes

and

floods

must

keep

Verb problem

show examples

aware because it can happen anytime. By

this

, the

government

should focus

to educate

Change preposition

on educating

show examples

their citizens, especially

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those who have houses near it. Personally, I agree with

this

because it can reduce a lot of money and increase possibility the

living

Change preposition

of living

show examples

life of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

This

essay will take

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

from how

Japan

mitigate the

disasters

as well as

giving

seminar

Fix the agreement mistake

seminars

show examples

to educate

people

Firstly

Japan

is famous for its natural

disasters

's mitigation. In fact, in

Japan

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earthquakes

and

tsunami

Fix the agreement mistake

tsunamis

show examples

happen frequently.

For example

, in 2006, there was a big tsunami.

However

, the citizens

Change preposition

apply

show examples

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

did not panic because have knew what they should do after

got

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

training from their

government

. At that time, they

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

tried to hide below the desk. After that,

people

did not

standing

Change the verb form

stand

show examples

near a power pole.

Therefore

Japan

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

saved more than 5000

people

and the loss was low.

Furthermore

, the prevention

to tackle

Verb problem

show examples

natural

disasters

can be

from

Change preposition

through

show examples

seminars or workshops.

For instance

similarly

Change preposition

show examples

Japan

, Indonesia is located at two tectonic plates. Because of

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earthquakes

happen

oftenly

Correct your spelling

often

and

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

goes

Change preposition

for

show examples

floods

. So, the local

government

initiates to make seminars or workshops. In

this

workshop,

people

can make small

Correct quantifier usage

pieces of equipments

show examples

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

or assemble

from

Correct pronoun usage

them from

show examples

their households if

floods

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

Thus

, they could save important goods at home without

worry

Wrong verb form

worrying

show examples

about

floods

. As seen above, the mitigation ways

Change the verb form

are

show examples

really important, particularly, for those who live in dangerous places in which

earthquakes

and

floods

will happen. The other governments can look up to

Japan

and

Indonesia's

Change noun form

Indonesia

show examples

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

to adopt their ways

to rescue

Change preposition

of rescuing

show examples

from natural

disasters

As a result

, it is crucial for the

government

to educate citizens about natural

disasters

Submitted by wishmeluck on Thu Sep 12 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, elaborate on the measures Japan and Indonesia take during earthquakes and floods.

coherence cohesion

Revise and enhance transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will ensure smoother reading. Examples include ‘Furthermore’, ‘Moreover’, etc.

task achievement

The essay does well in choosing relevant examples, notably Japan and Indonesia, which effectively illustrate the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. This provides coherence to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

headline-grabbing
disasters
earthquakes
floods
government resources
educating people
risks
cost lives
closer to home
prevent
mitigate
damage
loss of life
responsibility
prioritize
safety
well-being
citizens
disaster preparedness
national curriculum
balancing resources
preparedness
response

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Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disaster like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resources on educating people about their risks they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, more and more people ffrom different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.

In some nations ,they have the option to import food fr all around the glob. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree