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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many government thinks that economic progress is their most important goals, some people however thinks that other progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
A number of states believe that
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
essincial
Correct your spelling
essential
aims
Fix the agreement mistake
aim
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that all progress
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
 for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a nation
nations
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
stateabulity
Correct your spelling
stability
 is more
imoprtant
Correct your spelling
important
 for every
Use synonyms
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
 but other
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
also
Linking Words
 necessary for getting good
revanue
Correct your spelling
revenue
.
Body paragraph 1
First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
, I
aruged
Correct your spelling
argued
argue
 that economic
statusbuilty
Correct your spelling
status
 is important because
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong
nations
Use synonyms
 need
money
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
 if
Correct article usage
a nataion
show examples
nataion
Correct your spelling
nation
notation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 enough amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 tresure they can spend
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 need, they can build a roadway and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 eminities like
infrastruture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 and generate job
opportiunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 so that they can earn texes.
For example
Linking Words
, many undeveloped
nations
Use synonyms
 can not spend
money
Use synonyms
 on making
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 or
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have
money
Use synonyms
 to build
nations
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 they are not able to provide good living conditions.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
stute
Correct your spelling
staff
have power and they have to establish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain aims and
genrate
Correct your spelling
generate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
cruisual
Correct your spelling
crucial
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 development and they can
sall
Correct your spelling
call
sell
 the
naturual resoure
Correct your spelling
natural resources
 to get the
revanue
Correct your spelling
revenue
 and that would be helpful to be stable in the
grwoing
Correct your spelling
growing
ecconomic
Correct your spelling
economic
.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 of Indian
interduce
Correct your spelling
introduced
 the
make
Capitalize word
Make
show examples
 in India
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
show examples
 and
invite
Wrong verb form
invited
show examples
 the developed
nations
Use synonyms
 to invest in India it helps to continue the
contery
Correct your spelling
country
contrary
 progress and people can get job opprunity and
eran
Correct your spelling
earn
money
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
crucial for many
government
Change to a plural noun
governments
show examples
 to
stable
Replace the word
stabilise
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ecconmic
Correct your spelling
economic
 progress,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others
are disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that both are
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
 important
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 without
money
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 cannot spend it on
others project
Fix the agreement mistake
other projects
show examples
 and high inflanece create more
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
 development.

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement errors, incorrect word forms, and misspellings. Consider reviewing common grammatical rules and practicing to reduce such errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure and flow of ideas. While there is an attempt to organize the essay with paragraphs, the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be more coherent. Use clear transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. While there are examples provided, they could be more detailed and directly related to the points being discussed. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
Task Achievement
The essay topic is clearly addressed, and there is an attempt to discuss both views as required by the prompt. This shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay. This is important for providing structure and ensuring that your response is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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