IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans
Dear Alland, I am writing
this
 letter to ask for your help regarding my plans to study and take a part-time
job
 in your country.
First,
I plan to study at Sydney Technology University by next month. I want to take an Information Technology course since I love technology so much.
Then
, I will take a part-time
job
while
 I am studying since I have a goal to join Google company after I have finished my academic work.
Second,
I want to take a part-time
job
 to help with my education fees since the cost has risen significantly nowadays.
Also
, I want to have field experience
while
 I am studying because experience is very valuable since big companies will look into my experience beforehand.
Lastly
, I need your help to collect some information regarding a good part-time
job
 which is not very demanding on my time.
Besides
, I need your help in exploring the list of companies that have connections to the big companies. Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Stevin
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the use of more varied sentence structures for a higher level of coherence and use transitions efficiently.
Task Achievement
The letter provides a complete response to the task, with clear explanations of study plans, reasons for seeking a part-time job, and specific suggestions for how the friend can help.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, creating a friendly tone, suitable for writing to a friend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph presents a single idea, maintaining a clear structure and logical flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
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