You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Dear Alland, I am writing

this

letter to ask for your help regarding my plans to study and take a part-time

job

in your country.

First,

I plan to study at Sydney Technology University by next month. I want to take an Information Technology course since I love technology so much.

Then

, I will take a part-time

job

while

I am studying since I have a goal to join Google company after I have finished my academic work.

Second,

I want to take a part-time

job

to help with my education fees since the cost has risen significantly nowadays.

Also

, I want to have field experience

while

I am studying because experience is very valuable since big companies will look into my experience beforehand.

Lastly

, I need your help to collect some information regarding a good part-time

job

which is not very demanding on my time.

Besides

, I need your help in exploring the list of companies that have connections to the big companies. Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Stevin

Submitted by riani.the2 on Thu Sep 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure the use of more varied sentence structures for a higher level of coherence and use transitions efficiently.

Task Achievement

The letter provides a complete response to the task, with clear explanations of study plans, reasons for seeking a part-time job, and specific suggestions for how the friend can help.

Coherence and Cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriately used, creating a friendly tone, suitable for writing to a friend.

Coherence and Cohesion

Each paragraph presents a single idea, maintaining a clear structure and logical flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

181 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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