IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

You have a set of data that shows the number of books read by children in four different age groups over a five-year period. Age groups: 4-6 years, 7-9 years, 10-12 years, 13-15 years Years: 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 The data is as follows: Age Group20152016201720182019 4-6 years1012151718 7-9 years2022252729 10-12 years3032353740 13-15 years2528303235 Task: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The table illustrates the
number
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 of
books
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 read by four different age groups of minors from 2015 to 2019.
Body paragraph 1
For the 4-
6
Correct your spelling
6-year-old
years
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 old
group
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, Children read 10
books
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 in 2015,
then
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to 12
books
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, 15
books
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, 17
books
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 and 18
books
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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later each year. 7-
9
Correct your spelling
9-year-old
years
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 old kids read 20
books
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 in 2015,
then
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 read went up every year to 29
books
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 in 2019. 10-12-year-old pupils are the
group
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 that has
largest
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the largest
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number
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 of
books
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 reading and
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 increasing gap. It shows that they read 30
books
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at
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in
show examples
 2015 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 by 10
books
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2019. The teenagers from 13 to 15
who have
Verb problem
apply
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read 25
books
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 in 2015
and
Correct word choice
which
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to 35
books
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four
years
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 later, which
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 the same increasing gap as the 10 -12
years
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group
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.
Conclusion
In general, the all age groups
books
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 reading are increasing each year between 2015 and 2019.
10
Correct article usage
The 10
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-12
years
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group
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 read the largest
number
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 of
books
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, and
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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13 -15
years
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group
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 both
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the highest increasing amount within these five
years
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.

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style
Although the essay covers the main data points effectively, consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
grammar
There are some minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies (e.g. 'has largest number' should be 'has the largest number,' 'increase to 12 books' should be 'increased to 12 books'), so proofreading for errors would be beneficial.
content development
To improve task achievement, consider elaborating briefly on possible reasons behind the trends and comparisons for a more analytical approach.
content
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, covering all the main data points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points, aiding overall coherence.
content
Comparative language is used well to highlight differences and trends in the data.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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