Some people think that government should invest in wildlife projects and protect them. Other people think it is better if government invests money in other projects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In some
countries
, military service is necessary for young men after they finish their education. All countries
should do
the same system for men, maybe Verb problem
have
women
as well. I completely disagree with the statement. I think the military should be an option because people
's lives depend on it.
First,
I think that military
should be a choice. It has its own risks, and not everyone wants to risk their lives. I believe that Correct article usage
the military
people
who got
their education in universities should not go to the military. Military will be a waste of time for them. Wrong verb form
get
For example
, I do not want to go to the military, but in my country
it's compulsory to go to the military for six months. Add a comma
country,
Although
it is possible to decrease this
time to one month with
paying ten thousand dollars.
Change preposition
by
Secondly
, it would be unethical to force women
into the military; they are not physically capable. Instead
of forcing women
into the military, it would be better to teach them another strategy in some war situation
. I believe that Fix the agreement mistake
situations
countries
put these strict rules in place because of their population. Some countries
, like Israel, also
make women
soldiers. I think it is about the number of people
in Israel; ten million people
in the country is not enough to have a large army.
In conclusion, I side with those who think military
should be a choice. Both Add an article
the military
women
and men should decide whether they go to the military or not. You cannot expect great achievements with an army full of people
who were forced to be in the military.Submitted by enver07600 on
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task achievement
Your essay does address the topic and presents an opinion, but it tends to generalize, especially when discussing why military service should not be mandatory. Adding more balanced and detailed arguments would strengthen your position. For example, consider discussing some potential benefits of mandatory military service or provide more varied examples.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are presented logically, and the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some points lack sufficient support and explanation. Be sure to elaborate more on your main points to provide a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your opinion is clearly stated and maintained throughout the essay, showing a clear stance on the issue.