An increasing number of professional, such as teachers and doctors are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the reasons for this trend? What effect does it have on the countries professionals are leaving?

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Many professional
workers
decide to leave their
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
countries
to build careers in
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
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countries
.
This
essay will elaborate more on both the factors of
this
trend and the
further
events
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
by
this
case. First and foremost, professional
workers
tend to have a better salary by working in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
countries
. As the advanced
countries
apply the higher
of
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apply
show examples
regional minimum
rage
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wage
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, these states offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater earnings for their professionals. The amount is usually much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than their initial
countries
.
For example
, in Singapore, doctors are paid more than USD 100,000 in a year,
whereas
doctors in Indonesia are only paid around USD 25,000 per year.
This
great difference will be the pivotal point for most doctors to
finally
decide
moving
Change the verb form
to move
show examples
to the advanced state. On the other side,
this
phenomenon will lead to more lack of professional employees in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
. As many experts move to the better
countries
, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
less developed states
,
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apply
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will face difficulty in providing excellent services. Owing to
this
, the service quality will be impacted.
For instance
, in Indonesia, many graduates of
engineer
Wrong verb form
engineering
show examples
decide to work abroad after finishing their studies.
Thus
, their home
countries
have employment deficiency in some technical fields.
As a result
,
this
poor country needs to
spent
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spend
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a great expenditure
for
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on
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hiring new professionals. In conclusion, the well-paid level of salary is what these professional
workers
immersely
Correct your spelling
immensely
immersively
migrate to the first world
countries
to develop careers,
while
the
countries
they leave behind will struggle in insufficiency of adequate quantity
workers
.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on the reasons professionals leave their home countries to work in developed nations. Providing a broader range of reasons will make your argument stronger and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more varied transition words and phrases. This will help your essay flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported by relevant, in-depth examples. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The example of salary differences between doctors in Singapore and Indonesia is particularly effective in illustrating your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • brain drain
  • emigration
  • remittances
  • pull factors
  • push factors
  • skilled workforce
  • economic disparity
  • professional development
  • quality of life
  • socio-economic conditions
  • global workforce
  • career advancement
  • migration patterns
  • developed and developing countries
  • political and economic stability
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