Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
there is an argument that it is important for
children
to learn the difference between
right
and wrong at an early age and punishment is necessary to help them learn
this
distinction.
However
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However,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
completely agree with
this
opinion for two reasons. first of all, many
kids
nowday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
being naughty and rude. there are many
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
that can influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kid
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kids
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of being
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to be
show examples
naughty and rude.
usually
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usually,
show examples
kids
nowday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
nowaday
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
allowed by their
parents
to play phone or any other gadget and they usually watch something that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
find interesting. but in the digital
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
many people post something
that is
prohibitted
Correct your spelling
prohibited
for the
kids
to watch and the
kids
usually
follows
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follow
show examples
what they watch.
parents
must
taught
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teach
be taught
show examples
the
children
between
right
and wrong because when
the
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apply
show examples
bad
thing
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things
show examples
become some
habits
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habit
show examples
its
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it is
show examples
really hard to change their
action
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actions
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
doing
some thing
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something
show examples
wrong. if
parents
didnt
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didn't
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
them what is wrong and what is
right
they might
didnt
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not
know
that
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apply
show examples
the
action
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actions
show examples
that they can or can`t do and as they grow they can be a rude person.
second,
many
parents
didnt
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didn't
know how to punish their
children
. many of them start hitting their
children
pnly
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only
because their
child
make something wrong.
hitting
Capitalize word
Hitting
show examples
children
is one of
most worst
Change the adjective
the worst
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
of punishing your
child
it can make your
child
some childhood trauma and makes them hate their
parents
. so
instead
of hitting your
child
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child,
show examples
you can just
told
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tell
be told
show examples
them softly what they can or cannot do in
conclusion
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conclusion,
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dont use abusive
method
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methods
show examples
to punish your
children
instead
of use
a
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apply
show examples
nice and
soft spoken
Add a hyphen
soft-spoken
show examples
language to educate your
child
and
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apply
show examples
also
teaching our
child
the difference between
right
and wrong is very important many
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
becaome
Correct your spelling
become
became
naughty and rude because
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
didnt
teach them what to do so.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Try to ensure that each paragraph is developed with clear and specific examples that reinforce your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising the essay structure for better coherence. Make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to enhance the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling to improve clarity and professionalism. This includes using the correct forms of words and punctuation.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion, maintaining a consistent stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay touches on important aspects of the effects of parents and technology on children's behavior, indicating a good understanding of relevant issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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