Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As
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With
show examples
the technological advancements today, choosing curriculum subjects for
students
is very crucial for the
generation
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generation's
show examples
developments
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development
show examples
.
While
some value the importance of
history
courses, others prioritized courses
such
as
science
and technology as the most important key. In my opinion, owing to
students
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students'
student's
show examples
interest
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interests
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and
ability
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abilities
show examples
,
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the school
a school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should enable choices for their pupils to be able to select which subject they want to pursue. Researching about the past is the form of appreciating the past. The development of current society nowadays
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from the efforts
from
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of
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people
in the past. Some career
path
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paths
show examples
such
as
Archeolog
Correct your spelling
Archaeology
and Historian are still intriguing for some
learner
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learners
show examples
. Removing
history
from the curriculum not only
kill
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kills
show examples
the vision of
students
with that interest, it
also
foster
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fosters
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the extinction of the knowledge of the past.
Thus
,
history
should not be removed from the academic curriculums.
On the other hand
,
Science
and Technology courses are more practical for
society
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society's
show examples
developments
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development
show examples
. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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people's
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needs keep increasing, progression and innovation
constantly
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are constantly
show examples
demanded. Pushing the agendas
on
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of
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teaching
students
more towards
science
and technology is understandable.
However
,
people
should be reminded that learning about
history
is
also
neccessary
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necessary
for progression. By looking at the past,
people
can
study
their ancestor
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
and
generating
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generate
show examples
scenarios of probability during
decision
Add an article
the decision
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process. Understanding
about
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apply
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
and skills should be the priority
to resolve
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in resolving
show examples
the debate. The enthusiasm about learning the past should still be encouraged. Admittedly, learning too much about
history
that is
not
align
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aligned
show examples
with student interests can be exhausting. For
student
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students
show examples
that prefer more practical knowledge, minimizing the amount of
history
that
need
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needs
show examples
to be learned can be one of the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
for the academic institution to reduce the burden.
For instance
, in Indonesia, high
school
study
is divided into two categories, social
study
and
science
. For
science
students
, learning
history
is limited to local
history
only so
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can be more focused on the
science
study
. To summarize, removing the entire
history
subject from the
school
should not be encouraged
due to
past appreciation and future development. The
school
institution should collaborate with parents to be able to understand their
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
passion and adjust the curriculum based on it.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Revise the introduction to make it clearer and concise. Remove any unnecessary words and ensure that the introduction sets a strong base for what is to come.
task achievement
Work on providing more detailed examples and supporting arguments for each point. Make sure each main idea is fully developed to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Revise your grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and readability. Focus on correcting small errors and improving sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thoughtful discussion of both viewpoints and offers a balanced opinion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
The use of a real-life example (Indonesia's educational system) to illustrate a point adds relevance and specificity to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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