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Writing Samples
Band 4

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
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The
sales
 of fairtrade*-labelled coffee in 1999 is considerably lower in
comparions
Correct your spelling
comparison
comparisons
 to 2004. The
UK
 has lower stats compared to
Switzerland
 and it is shown that
Swiss
Correct article usage
the Swiss
show examples
 has 2 times the scale than The
UK
, compared to the latest year it has shown that The
UK
 is gradually ahead of
Switzerland
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ratio of 20:6 which is more than double. In general,
Switzerland
 has the highest stats in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1999 and in the 2004 United Kingdom leads the pack with an astonishing
sales
 of 20 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Euros.
The bananas
Correct article usage
Bananas
show examples
sales
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considerably higher than coffee, with Swiss leading again in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1999 and moving on to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2004,
Switzerland
 is still leading in
sales
, when
compared
Wrong verb form
comparing
show examples
 the stats of
Switzerland
 in 1999 to 2004 has increased by more than 3 times. The bananas
sales
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 quite low for
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom, but the progress it has made
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the past 5 years is quite amazing, in 2004
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
sales
has
Verb problem
were
show examples
 more than 5 times the size
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
 5 years. We can't even compare the
sales
 between
Switzerland
 and The
UK
 for
this
 matter, in 1999
Switzerland
 was ahead of The
UK
 by a large margin and it is still the same way in 2004.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, uk, switzerland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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