In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is becoming generally common for both
men
and women
are require
to have full-time work in many countries. Change the form of the verb
required
Therefore
, in this
essay, I strongly agree with those who believe that men
and women
should share balanced household
chores.
One major arguments
that need to Change to a singular noun
argument
consider
isWrong verb form
be considered
, commonly
Correct word choice
that, commonly
women
are having
wider and tougher chores than Wrong verb form
have
men
. Households
tasks Change the noun form
Household
such
as cleaning, cooking, and looking after children
which generally
done by Add a missing verb
are generally
women
, should be equally share
with their Change the verb form
be equally shared
husband
. As Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
women
have less
responsibilities at home, they may Change the quantifier
fewer
less
stress than before and it will ensure both of them Add a missing verb
have less
to
achieve work-life balance. Fix the infinitive
apply
Moreover
, by involving father
to spend more time with their Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
children
, it will thighten
their bond, so the Correct your spelling
tighten
children
may have the same affection portions from parents which will positively
integral to their growth and development.
Add a missing verb
be positively
Secondly
, since both women
and men
having
the same portions in sharing Wrong verb form
have
household
tasks, they can improve their communication skills and understanding to
each other. Change preposition
of
This
will actually useful
when one of them is occupied with their work duties, they can Add a missing verb
be useful
doing
the chores easily because they Change the form of the verb
do
already
used to it. Add a missing verb
are already
Furthermore
, by sharing the household
equally, they can have more leisure time together with
the family and provide a positive habit to their children
, as children
are great in
imitating their parent's behaviour.
In conclusion, since these days Change preposition
at
men
and women
need to work full time, it is a wiser decision for them to share their household
tasks equally in the same portions as they can find balance in work-life and house life and creating
more empathy toward each other.Wrong verb form
create
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grammar
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'are require to have' should be 'are required to', 'arguments that need to consider' should be 'arguments to be considered', 'should be equally share' should be 'should be equally shared', etc.). Working on these can help make your essay clearer and more professional.
content
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention real-life scenarios or studies that support the benefits of sharing household tasks equally.
structure
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Sometimes, sentences seem disjointed or thoughts are not fully developed before moving on to the next point. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
content
You have some strong ideas and insights, especially regarding the benefits of achieving a work-life balance and fostering better family bonds.
clarity
Your argument for the equal distribution of household chores is compelling and well-expressed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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