The growing number of overweight is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved.some people think that the best way to deal with this issue is that introduce more physical activities in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many companies solely depend on interviews for the hiring of new staff.

While

Linking Words

few people believe that there are many other ways of choosing the employee for the company. I wholeheartedly agree with

this

Linking Words

stance because employees should

also

Linking Words

be hired on the basis of academic background and experience in that

associate

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

particular field. To

begins

Correct subject-verb agreement

begin

show examples

with , There are enormous ways of selecting an employee but academic value and professional skill are considered to be on top priority. It means that the person with high

grades

Use synonyms

in modules or

overall

Linking Words

degree has the utmost importance.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individual with years of professional experience needs to be included in

selection

Correct article usage

the selection

show examples

criteria.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, beginners would be heavily impacted

Change preposition

show examples

the growth of

business

Add an article

the business

a business

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, In the banking sector, beginners from top-rank universities having good

grades

Use synonyms

are to be preferred in Pakistan.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Pakistan

software house

Correct your spelling

Software House

show examples

considered only those applicants

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have experience of more than three years in their required skills rather than any degree with good

grades

Use synonyms

. They only focus on competing with other big firms in terms of their capability and potential to generate revenue.

Hence

Linking Words

, the above representation proves the value of good

grades

Use synonyms

and professional skills.

On the contrary

Linking Words

side, interviews

also

Linking Words

play a crucial role in the selection of an individual. their main preference is to evaluate the personality of the candidate. To elaborate

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

on this

show examples

, the personality of the human is somehow important in various parts.

For example

Linking Words

, marketing agencies preferred to select the individual on interview. They have to assess the

overall

Linking Words

personality like physical appearance, communication skills, and politeness of the employee.In marketing work physical appearance matters a lot,

hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

a good way of hiring a person but it limits it to some extent .

To conclude

Linking Words

, the Hiring process is not only concise to interview.

However

Linking Words

, academic background and skill

also

Linking Words

play a crucial role in some aspects. They solely depend on the requirements of the companies which vary from sector to sector.

muhammadahtsham457Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task well and covers the key points. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better readability. For instance, 'To begins with' should be 'To begin with' and 'associate particular field' should be 'particular field.'

coherence cohesion

Try to create smoother transitions between your paragraphs and ideas. Some sentences feel abrupt and disconnected. Using linking words like 'Additionally,' 'However,' or 'Moreover,' can help in creating a more seamless flow.

task achievement

The essay effectively argues why academic background and experience are important, and it provides relevant examples in support of the points made.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the main argument of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

332 words

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The growing number of overweight is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved.some people think that the best way to deal with this issue is that introduce more physical activities in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people thinks that government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

the plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can wo solve this problem?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?