There are some people who believe that family members are very important in our life while other says that friends are more important .Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #members #life #friends

Some

people

believe that the

people

we carry the same blood

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

the greatest importance in our life as they

will not leave us no

Rewrite the sentence

will not leave us any

will leave us no

show examples

matter and always

support

us what

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

do not

support

this

and

says

Correct subject-verb agreement

say

show examples

friends

are more important since we can share things that we cannot with family and spend more fun

time

together. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

who claim family members are very important states that they will not leave and help us to continue in every stage of our life. Parents and siblings are the

ones

we grow up and old together, they are with us in every step we take and always there supporting

whenever

Correct pronoun usage

us whenever

show examples

seem

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

to be over for us.

Moreover

, it is not a choice for

family

Add an article

a family

the family

show examples

to leave a member behind when they see their mistake,

on the contrary

, they are the

ones

who forgive all the

time

which makes them more loyal than

friends

On the other hand

, some believe

friends

are more important justifying it with the claim that a person spends

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

time

with the

ones

they choose to be a family, and can share the deepest

secrets

. They think parents are not the

people

to tell

secrets

and share everything because they will judge or even punish.

In addition

, siblings

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

always go along and

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

are not the

ones

to spend

time

doing young

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

activities.

Finally

, some back up that family members have the greatest role in our life because of their

loyality

Correct your spelling

loyalty

and

support

;

however

, others believe

friends

are the most important

ones

as they are best

Change preposition

show examples

making good memories and keeping

secrets

. Personally, I

support

the statement that family members are very important because I know my parents will

support

me always, my brother will always keep my

secrets

and

little

Correct pronoun usage

my little

show examples

sister is the best to spend fun

time

together.

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific and detailed examples for both family and friends' importance. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, try to refine the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly. For instance, using words like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'on the contrary' can help clarify the relationship between points.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve the overall readability of your essay. For example, "will not leave us no matter" should be "will not leave us, no matter what."

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic and helps in achieving the task response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and clear, which provides a good structure to the essay.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, making the argument easier to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are some people who believe that family members are very important in our life while other says that friends are more important .Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries young people move in their own homes in early twenties, in other countries they live with parents longer. What do you think, do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think is the case? Is this a good or a bad thing?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world’s fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?