IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #climate #effect #life #economy #region
Yes, I do agree on the
both
 satatment given by the question some
people
 believe that
climate
 has the
effect
 on
people
way
 of life and other believe that the ecomony of the
region
 had the greatestes
effect
. In
this
 eassy is am going to talk about
both
 and give my opinion. Yes, the
climate
 does the
effect
 the
people
way
 to live and take time to adapte the
climate
 in the sorrunding.
For example
: In Nepal there are three geography himalaya
mountain
 and
terai
region
. In
this
 three
region
 the
people
 have the different
way
 of living and
way
 to survive.
For example
: In himalays the
climate
 will be the in negative deagree and the pepole will wear warm cloth and go wake up late at aroug 8 or 9 o clock. In
mountain
region
 tha the
climate
 moderate either more cold or hot they will have regular life style. In
terai
region
 it is too hot in so the
people
 have different
way
 to live like they wear half shirt or vest to prevent from hot etc.
This
 stament i given is from my country geography structure. I
also
 agree on the economy of the
region
 has the greatest
effect
. In my pov ( Point of view) that in Nepal it has more
effect
 in econmoy. In nepal there three types of
region
 himalya
mountain
 and
terai
region
.
For example
: In himalya
region
 the
people
 can earn by only doing farming and exporting the good to other country or the provison. In
mountain
region
 there more ways to earn and have many side hustles to make money from the
both
region
this
region
 have the high economy that have more money. In
terai
region
people
 can only earn through farm and doing the labour work in factory. In
terai
region
 theri are many factory so and have many land so they can use to grow crops and sell it. At
last
 that I sould agree sttongly with the
both
 statment that
climate
effect
 the life of
people
 and economy have the greatest
effect
. So, in the eassy I have given my opinion. The
both
 statements have
both
 pros and corns.
Submitted by grgm5745 on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the question. While you covered both viewpoints and gave your opinion, your arguments need further development and elaboration. Make sure each main point is clearly explained and supported with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your essay more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Using transition words more effectively will also help improve the overall coherence.
task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the question and both viewpoints have been addressed.
task response
You have attempted to provide relevant examples to support your points, which is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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