IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #climate #effect #life #economy #region
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Yes, I do agree on the
both
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 satatment given by the question some
people
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 believe that
climate
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 has the
effect
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 on
people
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way
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 of life and other believe that the ecomony of the
region
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 had the greatestes
effect
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. In
this
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 eassy is am going to talk about
both
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 and give my opinion. Yes, the
climate
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 does the
effect
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 the
people
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way
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 to live and take time to adapte the
climate
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 in the sorrunding.
For example
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: In Nepal there are three geography himalaya
mountain
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 and
terai
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region
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. In
this
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 three
region
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 the
people
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 have the different
way
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 of living and
way
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 to survive.
For example
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: In himalays the
climate
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 will be the in negative deagree and the pepole will wear warm cloth and go wake up late at aroug 8 or 9 o clock. In
mountain
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region
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 tha the
climate
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 moderate either more cold or hot they will have regular life style. In
terai
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region
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 it is too hot in so the
people
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 have different
way
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 to live like they wear half shirt or vest to prevent from hot etc.
This
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 stament i given is from my country geography structure. I
also
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 agree on the economy of the
region
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 has the greatest
effect
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. In my pov ( Point of view) that in Nepal it has more
effect
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 in econmoy. In nepal there three types of
region
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 himalya
mountain
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 and
terai
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region
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.
For example
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: In himalya
region
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 the
people
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 can earn by only doing farming and exporting the good to other country or the provison. In
mountain
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region
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 there more ways to earn and have many side hustles to make money from the
both
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region
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this
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region
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 have the high economy that have more money. In
terai
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region
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people
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 can only earn through farm and doing the labour work in factory. In
terai
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region
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 theri are many factory so and have many land so they can use to grow crops and sell it. At
last
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 that I sould agree sttongly with the
both
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 statment that
climate
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effect
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 the life of
people
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 and economy have the greatest
effect
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. So, in the eassy I have given my opinion. The
both
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 statements have
both
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 pros and corns.
Submitted by grgm5745 on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the question. While you covered both viewpoints and gave your opinion, your arguments need further development and elaboration. Make sure each main point is clearly explained and supported with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your essay more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Using transition words more effectively will also help improve the overall coherence.
task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the question and both viewpoints have been addressed.
task response
You have attempted to provide relevant examples to support your points, which is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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