IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

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Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 around the world,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to see more and more new places,
Correct word choice
and broadens
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broadens
Correct subject-verb agreement
broaden
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 their horizons.
People
Use synonyms
 choose to
travel
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by
Change preposition
in
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 different
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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: to
travel
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 on foot, by bikes, cars, water,
air
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transport
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 and other vehicles. The most popular vehicle is the plane.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look into
problems
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 which affect
flights
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 on the environment and what measures could be taken to solve the
problems
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.
Firstly
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,
flights
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 cause bigger
carbon
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 emissions.
People
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 choose to
travel
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 short distances with planes which they can choose to overcome with another vehicle which emits less
carbon
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 dioxide. But
people
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 want to go to the exact place in the fastest
way
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.
For example
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, Lithuanian
people
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 and not only Lithuanian
people
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 really love to
travel
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 around Europe and usually choose
air
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transport
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. But they could choose another
way
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,
for example
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, to go
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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.
Secondly
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,
air
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transport
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 causes climate change.
Big
Correct article usage
A big
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 amount of
flights
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 left a really big footprint on our Earth and caused a bigger greenhouse effect.
Although
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,
air
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transport
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 just 2,5% of all
carbon
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 emissions,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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if we
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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 more responsible it can help to solve greenhouse effect
problems
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.
However
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,
people
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 always could take the right measures to solve
problems
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 caused by the flight.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can choose another
transport
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 for a short distance.
For example
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, they could choose alternative vehicles.
People
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 can
travel
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 by train. It is cheaper and through the window opens up a beautiful landscape.
Secondly
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,
people
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 can
travel
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 around their native country and get to know their country's cultures and places which they do not know.
People
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 can do it on their foot or intercity
transport
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. In conclusion,
flights
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 cause a lot of
problems
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.
Air
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transport
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 emits a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 amount of
carbon
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 dioxide and causes climate change. But
people
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 always can choose the right
way
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 to solve
that
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
show examples
problems
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. They can choose alternative vehicles,
travel
Use synonyms
 around their native country on foot and save time and money.

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general
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but there are some inconsistencies in sentence structure and grammar. Work on refining these aspects to improve clarity and coherence.
example-use
Use more concrete examples to support your arguments. For instance, instead of broadly mentioning 'Lithuanian people,' provide statistical data or a more specific scenario to strengthen your point.
cohesion
Connect your paragraphs better with clear linking words or phrases. This will help in maintaining a smoother flow throughout your essay.
conclusion
While your conclusion is present and summarizes your main points, make sure it also restates your stance clearly and suggests potential future actions or perspectives.
task response
Your essay clearly identifies and discusses the major problems related to increased flights and their impact on the environment.
structure
You have provided a good introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your essay effectively.
content
You offer feasible solutions, such as using alternative modes of transport for short distances, which shows practical thinking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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