As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

Nowadays, a lot of
people
travel
around the world,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to see more and more new places,
Correct word choice
and broadens
show examples
broadens
Correct subject-verb agreement
broaden
show examples
their horizons.
People
choose to
travel
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
: to
travel
on foot, by bikes, cars, water,
air
transport
and other vehicles. The most popular vehicle is the plane.
This
essay will look into
problems
which affect
flights
on the environment and what measures could be taken to solve the
problems
.
Firstly
,
flights
cause bigger
carbon
emissions.
People
choose to
travel
short distances with planes which they can choose to overcome with another vehicle which emits less
carbon
dioxide. But
people
want to go to the exact place in the fastest
way
.
For example
, Lithuanian
people
and not only Lithuanian
people
really love to
travel
around Europe and usually choose
air
transport
. But they could choose another
way
,
for example
, to go
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
.
Secondly
,
air
transport
causes climate change.
Big
Correct article usage
A big
show examples
amount of
flights
left a really big footprint on our Earth and caused a bigger greenhouse effect.
Although
,
air
transport
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
just 2,5% of all
carbon
emissions,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if we
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
more responsible it can help to solve greenhouse effect
problems
.
However
,
people
always could take the right measures to solve
problems
caused by the flight.
Firstly
,
people
can choose another
transport
for a short distance.
For example
, they could choose alternative vehicles.
People
can
travel
by train. It is cheaper and through the window opens up a beautiful landscape.
Secondly
,
people
can
travel
around their native country and get to know their country's cultures and places which they do not know.
People
can do it on their foot or intercity
transport
. In conclusion,
flights
cause a lot of
problems
.
Air
transport
emits a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of
carbon
dioxide and causes climate change. But
people
always can choose the right
way
to solve
that
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
show examples
problems
. They can choose alternative vehicles,
travel
around their native country on foot and save time and money.
Submitted by oimigle on

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general
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but there are some inconsistencies in sentence structure and grammar. Work on refining these aspects to improve clarity and coherence.
example-use
Use more concrete examples to support your arguments. For instance, instead of broadly mentioning 'Lithuanian people,' provide statistical data or a more specific scenario to strengthen your point.
cohesion
Connect your paragraphs better with clear linking words or phrases. This will help in maintaining a smoother flow throughout your essay.
conclusion
While your conclusion is present and summarizes your main points, make sure it also restates your stance clearly and suggests potential future actions or perspectives.
task response
Your essay clearly identifies and discusses the major problems related to increased flights and their impact on the environment.
structure
You have provided a good introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your essay effectively.
content
You offer feasible solutions, such as using alternative modes of transport for short distances, which shows practical thinking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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