Some people think that visiting museums and art galleries is the best way to learn about art, while others believe that there are better ways of doing that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #museums #art #galleries

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Use synonyms

Museum

Fix the agreement mistake

Museums

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and

art

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galleries are the

place

Change the noun form

places

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where the

persons

Change to a genitive case

person's

persons'

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effort and their best

piece

Fix the agreement mistake

pieces

show examples

are placed for presenting for others to see.It helps to see physically the

art

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and to know its depth

meaning

Correct word choice

and meaning

show examples

in person

for instance

Linking Words

mona lisa which was a

master piece

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masterpiece

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created by

leonardo

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Leonardo

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vinci

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Vinci

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kept

securly

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secure

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show examples

france

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France

show examples

. On the one hand

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museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and

art

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galleries are

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

created with only the purpose of showing off their creation.

therefore

Linking Words

it is

also

Linking Words

safe and secured by the

people

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so that no harm comes to them. In

Correct article usage

the musesum

show examples

musesum

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museum

museums

there are kept different things

likewise

Linking Words

ancient

arteticture

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architecture

,models,

armor

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armour

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,and many more . I think

its

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it is

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worth

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

Correct your spelling

you

personally go

the

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to the

show examples

museum

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and see with yourself to

also

Linking Words

show respect

the

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for the

show examples

piece since it can be considered their

life time

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lifetime

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work and in

art

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galleries there are new and old

art

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painting

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paintings

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shown

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from

show examples

different countries who work hard so that they can be praised and become famous and try hard when

people

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comes

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come

show examples

for inspection at the place.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time passed

people

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have

accessed

Replace the word

access

show examples

through

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

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and

art

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so that they can save money and time

throuh

Correct your spelling

through

technology.

hence

Linking Words

it has made

people

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Change the verb form

apply

show examples

look at ancient

artifact

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artifacts

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kept at

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museum

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museums

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safely

hence

Linking Words

we can

also

Linking Words

know about its information through technology. I think

people

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are able to learn about arts

from

Change preposition

show examples

different

Correct your spelling

ways

waya

Correct your spelling

ways

for example

Linking Words

internet

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etc

ect

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etc

.since

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people

perople

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people

arent

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aren't

show examples

able to come

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show examples

the

museum

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because of

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

problems like transportation, financial condition so they find different ways

toi

Correct your spelling

access to it.

To conclude

Linking Words

In my opinion having different ways to know about

Use synonyms

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and arts where there are kept ancient or historical things

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will make all around the world know about it which is gonna

become

Verb problem

show examples

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

help to the

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by grgm5745 on Fri Sep 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Try to improve grammar and punctuation to make the essay easier to read. For example, ensure sentences are properly structured and use commas to break up long sentences.

idea development

Develop your ideas with more clarity and detail. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point is well-supported with examples or explanations.

organization

Include a more structured introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.

logical flow

Work on the logical flow of the essay. Ensure that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, and that the essay progresses in a coherent manner from one point to the next.

task response

The essay attempts to discuss both views and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for this type of task.

examples

The use of examples, such as the Mona Lisa, shows an attempt to make the argument more concrete and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

305 words

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Some people think that visiting museums and art galleries is the best way to learn about art, while others believe that there are better ways of doing that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to have an experience from works. Do you think advantage outweigh disadvantages

Many people use distance learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people use social media to get in touch with others and keep on latest news. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.