Some people think that visiting museums and art galleries is the best way to learn about art, while others believe that there are better ways of doing that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Museum
Fix the agreement mistake
Museums
show examples
and
art
galleries are the
place
Change the noun form
places
show examples
where the
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
persons'
show examples
effort and their best
piece
Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
show examples
are placed for presenting for others to see.It helps to see physically the
art
and to know its depth
meaning
Correct word choice
and meaning
show examples
in person
for instance
mona lisa which was a
master piece
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masterpiece
show examples
created by
leonardo
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Leonardo
show examples
da
vinci
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Vinci
show examples
kept
securly
Correct your spelling
secure
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
. On the one hand
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
and
art
galleries are
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
created with only the purpose of showing off their creation.
therefore
it is
also
safe and secured by the
people
so that no harm comes to them. In
Correct article usage
the musesum
show examples
musesum
Correct your spelling
museum
museums
there are kept different things
likewise
ancient
arteticture
Correct your spelling
architecture
,models,
armor
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armour
show examples
,and many more . I think
its
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it is
show examples
worth
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
u
Correct your spelling
you
personally go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
museum
and see with yourself to
also
show respect
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
piece since it can be considered their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
work and in
art
galleries there are new and old
art
or
painting
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paintings
show examples
shown
in
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from
show examples
different countries who work hard so that they can be praised and become famous and try hard when
people
comes
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come
show examples
for inspection at the place.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passed
people
have
accessed
Replace the word
access
show examples
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
and
art
so that they can save money and time
throuh
Correct your spelling
through
technology.
hence
it has made
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
look at ancient
artifact
Fix the agreement mistake
artifacts
show examples
kept at
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
safely
hence
we can
also
know about its information through technology. I think
people
are able to learn about arts
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
different
Correct your spelling
ways
waya
Correct your spelling
ways
for example
internet
Correct your spelling
etc
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
.since
Correct your spelling
people
perople
Correct your spelling
people
arent
Correct your spelling
aren't
show examples
able to come
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
museum
because of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
problems like transportation, financial condition so they find different ways
toi
Correct your spelling
to
access to it.
To conclude
In my opinion having different ways to know about
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
and arts where there are kept ancient or historical things
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will make all around the world know about it which is gonna
become
Verb problem
be
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
help to the
people
.
Submitted by grgm5745 on

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grammar
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idea development
Develop your ideas with more clarity and detail. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point is well-supported with examples or explanations.
organization
Include a more structured introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
logical flow
Work on the logical flow of the essay. Ensure that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, and that the essay progresses in a coherent manner from one point to the next.
task response
The essay attempts to discuss both views and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for this type of task.
examples
The use of examples, such as the Mona Lisa, shows an attempt to make the argument more concrete and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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