IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that visiting museums and art galleries is the best way to learn about art, while others believe that there are better ways of doing that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Use synonyms
Museum
Fix the agreement mistake
Museums
show examples
 and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries are the
place
Change the noun form
places
show examples
 where the
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
persons'
show examples
 effort and their best
piece
Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
show examples
 are placed for presenting for others to see.It helps to see physically the
art
Use synonyms
 and to know its depth
meaning
Correct word choice
and meaning
show examples
 in person
for instance
Linking Words
 mona lisa which was a
master piece
Correct your spelling
masterpiece
show examples
 created by
leonardo
Change the capitalization
Leonardo
show examples
 da
vinci
Change the capitalization
Vinci
show examples
 kept
securly
Correct your spelling
secure
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
.
Body · 1
On the one hand
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries are
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 created with only the purpose of showing off their creation.
therefore
Linking Words
 it is
also
Linking Words
 safe and secured by the
people
Use synonyms
 so that no harm comes to them.
Body · 2
In
Correct article usage
the musesum
show examples
musesum
Correct your spelling
museum
museums
 there are kept different things
likewise
Linking Words
 ancient
arteticture
Correct your spelling
architecture
,models,
armor
Change the spelling
armour
show examples
,and many more .
Body · 3
I think
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 worth
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
u
Correct your spelling
you
 personally go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 and see with yourself to
also
Linking Words
 show respect
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 piece since it can be considered their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 work and in
art
Use synonyms
 galleries there are new and old
art
Use synonyms
 or
painting
Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
show examples
 shown
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different countries who work hard so that they can be praised and become famous and try hard when
people
Use synonyms
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 for inspection at the place.
Body · 4
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passed
people
Use synonyms
 have
accessed
Replace the word
access
show examples
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and
art
Use synonyms
 so that they can save money and time
throuh
Correct your spelling
through
 technology.
hence
Linking Words
 it has made
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
look at ancient
artifact
Fix the agreement mistake
artifacts
show examples
 kept at
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 safely
hence
Linking Words
 we can
also
Linking Words
 know about its information through technology.
Body · 5
I think
people
Use synonyms
 are able to learn about arts
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
Correct your spelling
ways
waya
Correct your spelling
ways
for example
Linking Words
 internet
Correct your spelling
etc
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
.since
Correct your spelling
people
perople
Correct your spelling
people
arent
Correct your spelling
aren't
show examples
 able to come
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
museum
Use synonyms
 because of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 problems like transportation, financial condition
Body · 6
so they find different ways
toi
Correct your spelling
to
 access to it.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
 In my opinion having different ways to know about
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and arts where there are kept ancient or historical things
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will make all around the world know about it which is gonna
become
Verb problem
be
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 help to the
people
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Try to improve grammar and punctuation to make the essay easier to read. For example, ensure sentences are properly structured and use commas to break up long sentences.
idea development
Develop your ideas with more clarity and detail. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point is well-supported with examples or explanations.
organization
Include a more structured introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
logical flow
Work on the logical flow of the essay. Ensure that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, and that the essay progresses in a coherent manner from one point to the next.
task response
The essay attempts to discuss both views and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for this type of task.
examples
The use of examples, such as the Mona Lisa, shows an attempt to make the argument more concrete and relatable.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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