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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Should the driving age be raised to prevent teen car accidents?

#age #car #accidents
Driving too young increases traffic accidents. Since driving
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 requires attention.
Nevertheless
on the other hand
 young
people
 have better reflexes. To
illustrade
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 young
people
 can use reflexes in case of and smash.
Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
show examples
adult
people
 will have less excitement. To
oversimplfy
Correct your spelling
oversimplify
 mature
drive
 more slowly. You should
drive
 when you are an
adult
.
Seing
Correct your spelling
Seeing
 that you need to be careful and you need to calm down in traffic.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
 you must be as quick as a child.
Firstly
,
adult
people
drive
 better. For the reason that they are more experienced and calm. Thereby in case you don't get excited in traffic you won't have an incident. The more careful you are, the better you will
drive
.
Secondly
, junevile
people
 have good eyesight, hearing and reflexes.
Hence
 driving can be started at an early age.
Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
show examples
 you have to think about the risks. All in all, in
this
 essay it is right to start driving at 17-18 years old.
Seing
Correct your spelling
Seeing
 as there are benefits to being both
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
adult
 and a child. To clarify being excited, calm careful etc. at the age of 17-18. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 there is a time to
drive
. In as much as driving at the ideal age will reduce the risk of
wreck
Add an article
a wreck
show examples
.
Submitted by eylulelveren7 on

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task response
To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that your arguments are fully developed with relevant examples and details. The essay should clearly address all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your ideas logically. Each paragraph should contain a clear main point, supported by relevant details. Transitional words and phrases should be used effectively to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should be clearly defined. Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your position clearly.
task response
Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure each point is backed by specific examples or explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points to be discussed and summarizing the argument effectively.
task response
There is a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument (the benefits of both young and adult drivers), which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'All in all' helps to organize the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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