IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opend in the one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opend in the one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #shops #opend #country #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
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 and new
shops
Use synonyms
 in certain
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that many
shops
Use synonyms
 were opened at the beginning and its opening rate decreased substantially over the period.
While
Linking Words
, closing rate is slightly decline, making its
number
Use synonyms
 higher compared to new
shops
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
. In 2011, The
number
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 of shop closures was relatively low
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 6,200 and increased gradually reaching its peak at above 7,000 in 2013 before
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
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 drastically to roughly 500 by 2015, followed by a significant rise to approximately 5,000. Its figure remained consistent at the same
number
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 till the
end
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. In comparison, by 2011, a large
number
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 of owners opened their shop, accounting for 8,500 but the
number
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 of opening
shops
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 showed a considerable decrease in the next year to 4,000, which
is still
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained constant till 2017, with a minimal fluctuation to 6,000 in 2014, after that it dropped to 3,000 in the
end
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. In conclusion, both the
number
Use synonyms
 of
opening
Wrong verb form
opened
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 and closed
shops
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were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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, but in the
end
Use synonyms
, people
were tend
Change the verb form
tended
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 to
closed
Change the verb
close
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 their
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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 more than
opened
Wrong verb form
open
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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