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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The maps below sho the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

#maps #centre #town #islip #plans #development
The maps illustrate the
centre
 of a small
town
 known as Islip, the maps indicate how it is now and plans for its enhancement.
Overall
, it can be seen that there will be several clear changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
town
, some venues will be replaced, added,
removed
Correct word choice
or removed
show examples
.
According to
 what is depicted, there are two shops area viewed on the main road, it is planned to remove one of them.
In addition
, the park will be smaller
due to
 the new places like new housing.
However
, the
centre
 of the
town
 will be surrounded by
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
show examples
 carriageway. Obviously, the school
located
Add a missing verb
is located
show examples
 in the same location, but it will be on the carriageway
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 the housing. In the
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 part of the
centre
, there will be another new housing area.
Moreover
, people who want to go to the shopping
centre
 could park their cars in the new car park zone.
While
 there was a countryside area, it will be demolished in the new map as a development.
Therefore
, these improvements
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
town
centre
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to the progress of the city.
Submitted by moha.aleid2017 on

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task response
Your response addresses the task well, but it could benefit from more specific examples and details to fully support your points. For instance, identifying some specific venues that will be replaced or added would provide clearer context.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct. Consider adding a conclusion to summarize the changes and their potential impact on the town.
overall
There are some minor grammatical and lexical inaccuracies, such as 'the maps indicate how it is now and plans for its enhancement' which should be 'the maps indicate its current state and future development plans'. Focus on refining these to improve clarity and correctness.
task response
You have clearly identified several key changes that are planned for the town center and have described them in a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
Your description of the maps is clear and easy to understand, and you have used appropriate vocabulary for discussing changes and developments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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