Some people think that the education system should focus on teaching students practical skills that are needed for employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Esucation
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Education
system is a helpful method for students to learn how to become
profisionals
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professionals
professional
employees ,
however
i agree with that but
in
Change preposition
on
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the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
i
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I
show examples
belive
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believe
show examples
that
life
teaches you more. to be specific , teaching is a way to learn more knowledge about math ,
scince
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science
and
geograpic
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geographic
, match teaches you how to solve problems and Questions if you compare it to
life
work that will
helps
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help
show examples
you how to solve any issue you face in your work , but it
dosent
Correct your spelling
doesn't
teach you to solve issues in your own
life
However
, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
stated that
life
teaches you more because
Life
where
Add a missing verb
is where
show examples
you can face
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
kinds of problems
such
as health , love ,
family
Correct word choice
and family
show examples
issues
this
will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
it from your daily
life
m when you see people how do they
intiract
Correct your spelling
interact
or how do they solve it from diffrent way of methods.
Inconclusion
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In conclusion
show examples
, Both
life
and
edusction teahes
Correct your spelling
education teach
you
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
things and
Add an article
the way
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
how to become a
critical thinking
Add a hyphen
critical-thinking
show examples
employee and
acheave
Correct your spelling
achieve
high positions.
Submitted by reemo.r.s on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, ensure 'education', 'professional', 'other hand', 'believe', 'geography', 'science', 'it doesn't', 'different', 'interact', and 'in conclusion' are spelled correctly.
content
Develop your main points more fully. Provide specific examples to support your arguments more concretely. This will help strengthen the task response and main points.
structure
Work on structuring your essay better. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect different parts of your essay.
structure
Include a clearer introduction and conclusion. Introduce your main argument in the introduction and summarize the key points discussed in the essay in the conclusion.
content
You attempt to cover both sides of the argument, which shows an effort to provide a balanced response.
content
Your essay does touch on important aspects of both education and life experiences in shaping an individual's professional skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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