•In some countries, school violence is becoming too common. What are some possible causes of this trend and solutions to it?
It is widely acknowledged that the issue of
school
violence
is too general in contemporary nations and is growing at a startling rate. The problem is bringing a state of depression among the multitudes and in education. This
paragraph will represent the possible grounds of
Change preposition
for
this
problem, and potential remedies are also
to be discussed and are listed below.
In regards, there are several causes of this
matter. One of the main consequences that can be characterized as
family carrying of Correct your spelling
is
children
. Nowadays, parents are too busy with their professional lives and unable to give quality time to children
. As a result
, absence
of Correct article usage
the absence
guardiancy
makes them arrogant and mentally depressed, which may create an arrogant tendency to Correct your spelling
guardian
guardians
physical
Change the word
physically
harassment of
others. Wrong verb form
harass
Furthermore
, a lack of a school
disciplinary code of conduct may lead to school
violence
. If school
authorities do not have regulation
or strictly do not monitor rules against child abuse, ragging, bullying, etc., Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
which
are subjected to getting a chance of Correct pronoun usage
they
violence
by students or even school
staff.
Seeing the matter with a brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to curb this
menace. One potential solution is for the guidance to ensure properly taking care of their children
. For instance
, parents should play with children
, taking
information about their friends, Wrong verb form
take
checking
Wrong verb form
check
school
attendance or results reports, to
teach them about social Fix the infinitive
apply
behaviors
, Change the spelling
behaviours
scale
up positive attitudes, religious matters, and so on. Wrong verb form
scaling
Moreover
, the government should set up strict rules and regulations against violence
, and accordingly
monitor violence
to protect them. Furthermore
, authorities can motivate students and staff by
gaming competitions Change preposition
through
among
Change preposition
apply
them
, cultural activities, arranging picnics, and so on.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
, solving a global issue is not easy, but with the joint efforts of humanity, control can be taken over the issue with the aforementioned suggested measures, specifically carrying motivation, with integrated laws. I believe that everyone should come forward to mitigate this
case.Submitted by masud on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, with logical connections between ideas, but sometimes the flow could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
While you addressed the task and touched on causes and solutions, more detailed examples and explanations would improve the depth of your response.
language
Using more specific and varied vocabulary will further enhance your essay's clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, making it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both causes and solutions of school violence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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