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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.
#bar #amount #wastes #centre #period #paper #glass #tins #garden
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The bar graphs show the number of the various types of recycled
materials
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as paper, glass, tins, and
garden
Use synonyms
wastes
Use synonyms
, between the
years
Use synonyms
 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of collected
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 increased from 2011 to 2015 for all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
garden
Use synonyms
wastes
Use synonyms
recycled
Add a missing verb
were recycled
show examples
 at the smallest
amount
Use synonyms
 for all the
years
Use synonyms
. 57
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of paper was collected in 2011, and there was a resurgence with 70
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2015 after
deceding
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 to 40
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2013. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of collected glass had small changes
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the range of 40 and 52
tonnes
Use synonyms
 between the
years
Use synonyms
 2011 and 2015. Tins and
garden
Use synonyms
wastes
Use synonyms
 had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 proportion of the total
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 with 35
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and 32
tonnes
Use synonyms
 respectively in 2011. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tins and
garden
Use synonyms
materials
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 had the same pattern through the
years
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 and
finally
Linking Words
 rose with a small increase to 39
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and 35
tonnes
Use synonyms
 respectively in 2015. The highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of the collected
materials
Use synonyms
 sent to
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
 centre was in 2015 for all the types. .
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Vocabulary: Replace the words materials, garden, wastes, years, amount, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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