IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some young
people
Use synonyms
 believe that they should choose careers based on their interests,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that they should choose a career that will bring them more money in the
future
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both ideas and give my opinion. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that young
people
Use synonyms
 should follow their interests and choose jobs they are passionate about.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 perspective, when a person enjoys their work, they are more likely to be successful and motivated. If young
people
Use synonyms
 choose careers they love, they are likely to be happier and more productive in their jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, pursuing one’s dreams can lead to the development of specialized skills and greater professional achievements. Young
People
Use synonyms
 Should Be More Realistic About Their
Future
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe young
people
Use synonyms
 should think more realistically about their
future
Use synonyms
 and consider factors
such
Linking Words
 as job availability, financial stability, and job prospects. Certain careers may not have a high demand in the
future
Use synonyms
, or they may not provide the financial security needed for a stable life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important for young
people
Use synonyms
 to choose jobs that offer long-term security and opportunities for growth in the market. My Opinion In my opinion, young
people
Use synonyms
 should pursue their passions but
also
Linking Words
 take a realistic approach when choosing a career. It is essential for them to consider their interests and what makes them happy, but they should
also
Linking Words
 ensure that the job they choose provides stability and
future
Use synonyms
 growth. Balancing personal passion with practical considerations is key to making the best career decision. Conclusion In conclusion, young
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to follow their dreams
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 being mindful of their
future
Use synonyms
. Finding a balance between passion and practicality will help them make informed decisions and set themselves up for long-term success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Enhance your examples to illustrate the points more vividly. Use specific scenarios or hypothetical situations.
complete response
Though your response is clear, consider delving a little deeper into some arguments for a richer demonstration of your ideas.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, aiding readability.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided a clear and comprehensive understanding of both perspectives, which strengthens your task response.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear, serving their purpose to present your discussion and wrap it up effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: