the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010
The following chart illustrates the proportion of regular physical
activity
done by
men
and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
divided into six categories of ages in Australia in 2010. At first glance, it is evident that the percentage of
activity
in females older than 24
years
old was higher than
males
Change preposition
in males
show examples
older than 24
years
old. Another interesting point is that both genders had almost the same rate of
activity
at the age of 65 and over with only
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
. Looking at the details, 15 to
24 year old
Add a hyphen
24-year-old
show examples
men
did more exercise
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to women at that
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
In contrast
, at the age of 25 to 64
years
old, the
men
were nowhere near as active as women.
Finally
, 15 to 24
years
old women had the lowest proportion of physical
activity
with only 47.7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
men
's
activity
at the age of 35 to 44 hit the trough of 39.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, men, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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