Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged
according to
social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such
as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.
It is true that nowadays, people
with expensive cars and branded clothing are being respected. A person with high
level of integrity, respectfulness, kindness and Add an article
a high
the high
trustworthy
Replace the word
trustworthiness
are
not valued in Correct subject-verb agreement
is
todays
generation. So, we will discuss why Change to a genitive case
today's
people
with money
and materialistic things
are considered worthy.
Advent
of technology and globalization Add an article
The advent
is
having Change the verb form
are
huge
impact on Add an article
a huge
people
. Consequently
, people
major focus nowadays is to earn more and more Change noun form
people's
money
and to show your worth. It is because they also
know they will be respected based on amount
of Add an article
the amount
money
you are having
. To illustrate, we can see there are so many big celebrities who earn crores and crores every year and they are capable of running Wrong verb form
have
NGO
or doing charity or good deeds but rather than doing some kind Correct article usage
an NGO
work
or charity, they spend their Change preposition
of work
money
buying luxury cars, expensive clothes, branded shoes etc. It is because they also
know that people
now will know you
worth by looking Correct pronoun usage
your
to
Change preposition
at
you
materialistic Correct pronoun usage
your
things
rather than you
kindness and charity.
Correct pronoun usage
your
People
who have
are rich Unnecessary verb
apply
they
spend huge Correct pronoun usage
apply
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
money
on buying expensive things
and setting up the bar and
so, Correct word choice
apply
youth
of today Add an article
the youth
a youth
also
is more focusing
on earning Replace the word
focused
money
, but the issue is that they are focusing whether
they are making Change preposition
on whether
money
through legal ways or illegal ways. They choose wrong
ways to earn Correct article usage
the wrong
money
and break Correct article usage
the laws
laws
. Fix the agreement mistake
law
For example
, In my neighbour a boy used to drive truck
and earn Correct article usage
a truck
money
but then
this
friend bought a car worth of
7 lakhs. He Change preposition
apply
also
start
asking his parents to buy the same car for him, and when they refused, he tried to rob a house and was caught. So, Wrong verb form
started
this
curiosity of making your worth is destroying life
of many Add an article
the life
youth
.
Change to a plural noun
youths
Overall
, It is true that your respect is decided based on your money
and your materialistic things
and people
will only respect if
Correct pronoun usage
you if
your
have Change the pronoun
you
money
.Submitted by anash.suhail on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and consider revising for conciseness. For example, 'they also know' is used repetitively in close succession.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully to provide depth in your arguments. Include more specific examples or elaborate on the ones given.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to correct and varied sentence structures to avoid grammatical errors and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively identified the core issue and presented a coherent argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support your points, making your argument more relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.