IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believe that traditional music album and single consumption is vital for the music industry. On the other hand, others think that digital streaming and downloading play bigger roles. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #album #consumption #industry #hand #roles
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the bar chart Provides key Information about ProPartion of internet users by age group in
Canada
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Canada's
show examples
 online shopping in 2014 and 2018. The units are measured in Percentages. Prum
overall
, it is clear
the
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from the
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 graph that in 2018, ase between 35 to us had a higher
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rate
rately
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rate
 roughly by 3Bx.
in addition
, Internet
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users
ucers
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users
 by age 4s-ss in 2018, had a significant Portoy of users by 28%,
whereas
 in 2014,
ther
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their
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represented
repreented
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represented
 around 22%
According to
 what is shown, the
swers
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sewers
answers
 in 2018,
they
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apply
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had in increased all age groups.
Moreover
, 26-35 had
a
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an
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 equivalent rate
both
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for both
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 of
Years
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the Years
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, but for
above
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those above
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 65, they
didnot
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did not
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 much ike before. In terms of 55 to 65, in 2018,
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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organization
Please avoid typographical errors, like 'Prum,' and make sure the information is presented in a clear and organized manner.
structural
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion for your essay. Summarize the main points in these sections and return to your initial question or statement in the conclusion.
developmental
Make sure to provide a thorough analysis of the data and include more examples if necessary. For instance, discuss the reasons behind the changes and trends observed within each age group.
content
You have identified key trends and comparisons between the years 2014 and 2018, and specific age groups.
analysis
You have shown a good attempt at summarizing the main points and interpreting the data presented in the bar chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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