IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The figures
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 numerous daylight activities done by jobless people in the UK in a year, separated by gender. The numbers are shown in percentage and the time is separated between morning and afternoon time.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
,
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 interests that are popular
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 them are chores, shopping, job hunting, and
lastly
, catching up with friends or family. Between both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
 men are found to be more productive than women
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
when they are out of work. In the case of females,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
, they would choose to do chores,
shopping
Replace the word
shop
show examples
, and
catching
Wrong verb form
catch
show examples
 up with their friends
then
 continue with the search for a new job opportunity later
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
afternoon
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
.
However
, males will be more active
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sending an application in the morning,
while
 juggling with
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
, shopping, or gardening. Based on the time, most people prefer to have a fruitful morning than in the afternoon. One example is when doing household activities, where there is more than
twofolds
Correct your spelling
twofold
two folds
 difference in percentage in both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
. In opposite, most people like to visit their relatives after midday.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: