IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

#companies #workers #work #lots #pressure #sake #profit
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In the working sphere, it is important to have a contributing atmosphere to implement the
job
Use synonyms
 with eagerness.Some
people
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 consider that it is essential to keep
people
Use synonyms
 working with pleasure.Meanwhile,others suggest that putting pressure
while
Linking Words
 working will give more
success
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.From my perspective,working in a good environment with a contributive atmosphere will encourage them to achieve better results and have a sense of
accomplishments
Fix the agreement mistake
accomplishment
show examples
. First of all,
people
Use synonyms
 doing their
job
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 with pleasure are more inclined to reach heights,
due to
Linking Words
 putting
huge
Change preposition
in huge
show examples
 effort.For each employee working under stress can be the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 acquiring many problems and losing control of management.
For example
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,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
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Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
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 who have
this
Linking Words
 type of
job
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 during a time can be disgusted and
gave
Wrong verb form
give
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 up.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
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 that prefer to be involved in a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
job
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 are
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 and starving for new accomplishments.Being involved in a
job
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 with a good surrounding and without burden from the company can
become inspired
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
gain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,the friendly atmosphere and absence of barriers or time limitations can provide
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
show examples
 working process.
As a result
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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 who choose to work in
a favorable conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
favorable conditions
a favorable condition
show examples
 are more passionate to be motivated to reach
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,it is paramount to be involved in both lovely and hard work
for reaching
Change preposition
to reach
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
To be concentrated
Wrong verb form
Concentrating
show examples
 on work that employees are fond of will assist to pursue a good career and open diverse doors to build a successful life.
Submitted by inessanazaryan1 on

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supported main points
Ensure to clearly support the main points with specific examples or evidence. For instance, elaborate on how a friendly atmosphere leads to improved productivity with real-world examples.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of your essay. The transition between some sentences and ideas can be smoother to improve coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the general idea and your perspective on the topic.
complete response
You have addressed the question completely, providing a balanced argument between both views.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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