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Band 7

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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This
Linking Words
 chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of people attending five different activities from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
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,
number
Use synonyms
 of participants in the film club was the highest and remained relatively stable over the period.
On the other hand
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, no one went to musical performances by 2005, but afterwards, it rose gradually by 2020. Whilst amateur dramatics showed a drastic increase after 2010, table tennis declined significantly until 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of individuals in martial arts fluctuated slightly between 2000 and 2010. The
number
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 of Film clubs saw an oscillation between around 60 and 65 over the period. It peaked at nearly 65 in 2020.
Likewise
Linking Words
, martial arts varied slowly between almost 30 and 35 from 2000 to 2020.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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musical performance was flat at zero by 2005;
however
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, it rose gradually from 2005 onward and it was approximately 15 in 2020. The
number
Use synonyms
 of Amateur dramatics experienced a sharp decline after 2010 and it reached almost 5 in 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, from 2010 onward, table tennis made a massive jump and peaked at almost 50 in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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