IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart below shows the average salary of the individual and population
that is
Linking Words
 below the poverty line in three cities which are
California
Use synonyms
,
Utah
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
ages
Use synonyms
 under 18 are similar in number between
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
, and
Utah
Use synonyms
 has a high
rate
Use synonyms
 of camper, too.
However
Linking Words
, the
ages
Use synonyms
 over 60 in the three cities have different numbers each other; the average income in
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 is almost the same, but
Utah
Use synonyms
 is under them in
rate
Use synonyms
, shortly, the population of each city has different percentages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, for
ages
Use synonyms
 under 18,
Florida
Use synonyms
 has the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
, which is 16%, but it
also
Linking Words
 has the highest number of
ages
Use synonyms
 over 60, which is 23%.
California
Use synonyms
 represents 17% of
ages
Use synonyms
 under 18 and 13% of
ages
Use synonyms
 over 60, and that leads to
Utah
Use synonyms
, which has the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
ages
Use synonyms
 under 18 with 28% and,
ages
Use synonyms
 over 60 became the lowest with just 8%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the average income per person in
California
Use synonyms
 is 23k, and the closest to the number is
Florida
Use synonyms
 with 22k, in
Utah
Use synonyms
, 17k per person, the population below, starting with
California
Use synonyms
 is 16%, and 9% for
Utah
Use synonyms
, eventually 12% to
Florida
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words california, utah, florida, ages, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: