There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this?
It is argued that nowadays individuals travel to different nations to live there.
This
essay totally agrees with this
statement because moving to other countries
will open the door for better job
opportunities, although
this
benefit
, many Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
people
will struggle with language
barriers and suffer from homesickness.
Firstly
, moving to another country provides more work opitions
than Correct your spelling
options
stay
at home. Wrong verb form
staying
In other words
, when individuals who are from developing countries
move to developed countries
they would find a lot of job
that help them to have better live quality. Change to a plural noun
jobs
For example
, a recent survey found that the highest number of people
from developing countries
was succeed
when they moved to developed Wrong verb form
succeeded
countries
,
because they built their lives easily with viable Remove the comma
apply
job
opitions
.
Correct your spelling
options
On the other hand
, the prime advantage of living in international countries
is open
the door Wrong verb form
opens
for
better Change preposition
to
job
opportunities more
than their home. Correct quantifier usage
apply
This
leads people
to success in their lives,
because they can improve their skills and find good Remove the comma
apply
institution
that equip them very well.
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
In contrast
, the greatest disadvantage of living abroad is struggling with language
barriers, when people
move to other countries
they have to learn different
Add an article
a different
the different
language
which takes time. Moreover
, the second drawback is when people
live abroad alone, they will suffer from homesickness, so they have to find some friends to solve this
problem.
In conclusion, although
moving to different nations has different drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
such
as language
barriers and homesickness, living abroad has the greatest benefit for individuals to success in their lives such
as more job
choices.Submitted by saja.alotaibi on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is clearly distinct and avoid repetition (e.g., similar points about job opportunities in both main paragraphs).
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments and increase credibility.
coherence cohesion
Address language errors to improve clarity and readability, such as 'options' instead of 'opitions.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks, offering a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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