IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this?

#people #countries #move
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It is argued that nowadays individuals travel to different nations to live there.
This
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 essay totally agrees with
this
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 statement because moving to other
countries
Use synonyms
 will open the door for better
job
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 opportunities,
although
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this
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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, many
people
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 will struggle with
language
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 barriers and suffer from homesickness.
Firstly
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, moving to another country provides more work
opitions
Correct your spelling
options
 than
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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 at home.
In other words
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, when individuals who are from developing
countries
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 move to developed
countries
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 they would find a lot of
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job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
 that help them to have better live quality.
For example
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, a recent survey found that the highest number of
people
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 from developing
countries
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was succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeded
show examples
 when they moved to developed
countries
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they built their lives easily with viable
job
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opitions
Correct your spelling
options
.
On the other hand
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, the prime advantage of living in international
countries
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 is
open
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
 the door
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 better
job
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 opportunities
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than their home.
This
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 leads
people
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 to success in their lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they can improve their skills and find good
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 that equip them very well.
In contrast
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, the greatest disadvantage of living abroad is struggling with
language
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 barriers, when
people
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 move to other
countries
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 they have to learn
different
Add an article
a different
the different
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language
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 which takes time.
Moreover
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, the second drawback is when
people
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 live abroad alone, they will suffer from homesickness, so they have to find some friends to solve
this
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 problem. In conclusion,
although
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 moving to different nations has different
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
such
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 as
language
Use synonyms
 barriers and homesickness, living abroad has the greatest benefit for individuals to success in their lives
such
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 as more
job
Use synonyms
 choices.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is clearly distinct and avoid repetition (e.g., similar points about job opportunities in both main paragraphs).
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments and increase credibility.
coherence cohesion
Address language errors to improve clarity and readability, such as 'options' instead of 'opitions.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks, offering a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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