Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Teenager
are more likely to Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
get
affected in how they act and behave by their friends and by Verb problem
be
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who are in same
age category . and that can lead to peer pressure Correct article usage
the same
which
some Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
says
, it has a lot of Correct subject-verb agreement
say
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
while
other
think it has a negative impact on younger Fix the agreement mistake
others
people
. In this
essay
I am going to compare the cons and pros of having Add a comma
essay,
such
competition .
Teenager are
tend to compete with each other all the time ,Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
the need of trying
to fit in or to Change preposition
to try
proving
themselves among their peers . Change the form of the verb
prove
people
says
, Change the verb form
say
acting
like that Correct word choice
that acting
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
they
adults Correct your spelling
the
feeling
they are in some sort of a race ,and that can be a great help for them to gain skills they lack and to improve and mature in life Wrong verb form
feel
.they
argue thatCorrect your spelling
They
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
is why schools had
local competition ,that make the students get out their best of themselves .
On Wrong verb form
have
they
other hand, worried Correct your spelling
the
individual
believe that Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
,
younger Remove the comma
apply
people
getting influenced by other
had lots of Fix the agreement mistake
others
disadvantage
. they think Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
,
Remove the comma
apply
Correct word choice
that teenager
teenager
can Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
be easily manipulate
because they lack Change the verb form
be easily manipulated
of
rational thinking . they Remove the preposition
apply
proving
their point by Change the form of the verb
prove
telling
that, most of the bad habits that any human can
have ,start with watching and doing the same thing their peers are doing . Verb problem
saying
such
as ,
smoking , Remove the comma
apply
using
prohibited material .
In conclusion , I strongly believe thatCorrect word choice
and using
,
peer pressure Remove the comma
apply
had
a lot of positive Wrong verb form
has
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
although
, kids should be monitor
to not replicate the Wrong verb form
monitored
bed
thing Correct your spelling
bad
what
their Correct word choice
that
friend
do .Fix the agreement mistake
friends
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a clear and concise manner. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points or arguments, ensuring a logical flow between them.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your thesis and summarizing the key points in a more consolidated manner.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is well-supported with relevant examples. This helps to develop your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
Aim for more accurate and varied sentence structures to improve readability and clarity. This will help convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You have made a solid attempt to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay indicates an understanding of the topic and a basic structure with an introduction and conclusion present.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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