IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #plastic #bags #bottles #environment #damage #governments #individuals
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In recent days, the environment has been damaged by using
plastic
bags
,
plastic
bottles
 and
plastic
 packaging. There are some causes of using
plastic
 and the way we and the
government
 can solve
this
 problem. First of all, the environment caused by
plastic
 is that people
use
plastic
bags
 or
bottles
 for shopping or travelling somewhere else.
For instance
, beech or mountain and so on. Some people throw away the
plastic
 to nature after they finish
use
,
this
 will cause the animal to eat by mistake and they might die
such
 as Turtles think that
plastic
 is jellyfish which makes them eat by accident. Second of all, the way that we and the
government
 can solve
this
 problem is that, as individuals,we should remind ourselves not to
use
plastic
 so that the usage of
plastic
 things
such
 as
bottles
 and
bags
 is going to be less.
Moreover
, we should
use
 eco-friendly
bags
 or water
bottles
 and try not to
use
plastic
 as much as we can. For the
government
, they should ban
plastic
 or make the price higher for the things that are using
plastic
.
For instance
, in Japan 2 years ago
plastic
bags
 were free but recently
plastic
bags
 cost money .
To sum up
, using
plastic
 makes nature worse,
such
 as animals eating it by mistake.
However
, there are ways to solve
this
 problem by individuals or with the
government
. In my opinion, we should not
use
plastic
 a lot to improve the environment.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response score, ensure that your arguments are fully developed and well-explained. For instance, you could elaborate more on how plastic specifically affects different environmental aspects such as soil, water, and air quality.
task achievement
Concentrate on presenting your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This includes providing more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your main points. For example, you could describe more specific policies that governments could implement to reduce plastic use.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure your paragraphs transition smoothly from one to another. Using transitional words and phrases can help with this. Additionally, each paragraph should focus on a single idea or related set of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and fluid structure. Ensure each paragraph builds naturally from the previous one, leading to a cohesive argument throughout the essay. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a sound introduction and the organization of your ideas is generally clear, which helps maintain reader interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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