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Band 4.5

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

#lack #water #importance #shortage #measures
The
shortness
Replace the word
shortage
show examples
 of clean drinking
water
 supply in our current world now,
is tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to increase year by year.
This
 issue is extremely important
due to
 the key part, that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 in human health in general
.in
Correct your spelling
In
this
 essay I am going to discuss the issues of lacking fresh
water
 and what can be done to solve
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
. Poor access to clean
water
 can
causses
Correct your spelling
cause
causes
 severe hug health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the human
body
 .
people
 who
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 reach to good clean
water
 supply can have enormous
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
such
 as, the total
absent
Replace the word
absence
show examples
 of minerals that can be found naturally in
water
 is very crucial to the
brain to
Change preposition
brain's
show examples
 function.
moreover
 , all
body
 organs need
water
 to work and do all the vital
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 that the human
body
 needs to survive .
in addition
 , as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
 of desperate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
 some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 will consume any kind of
water
 even if it is undrinkable or unclean .
Hence
 , that will lead to the possibility of having germs and bacteria in the human
body
 .
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when the Sudan civil war started ,some
water
 wells
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 destroyed and
people
forced
Add a missing verb
were forced
show examples
 to drink from the dirty local river . And that leads to
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
show examples
outbreak
Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
show examples
 of
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 malaria . There are some steps that the government and
people
 in charge can take to reduce the effect of lacking clean fresh
water
.
firstly
, drilling wells across the country can be very helpful .
secondly
 , building dams to
saves
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 and collect
rains
Change the noun form
rain
show examples
water
.
Correct your spelling
Finally
finally
 , counters
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are located near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
big seas or rivers can
purified
Change the verb form
purify
show examples
 the
water
 and
turning
Wrong verb form
turn
show examples
 it
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 usable one .
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 Saudi Arabia is an excellent example of building dams in the south of the country and turning the
red
Capitalize word
Red
show examples
 Sea
water
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
drinkable
Correct article usage
a drinkable
show examples
 one . In conclusion , the clean
water
 supply
crises
Fix the agreement mistake
crisis
show examples
 is essential
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any community to survive and
thrives
Correct subject-verb agreement
thrive
show examples
. it is
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 challenging issue but can be overcome when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
people
 work together to maintain and preserve
water
 .
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your thoughts logically. The essay can benefit from a clearer structure and better paragraphing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. You tend to speak in general terms, making your argument less convincing.
language use
Improve your sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors, affecting the readability of your essay.
task response
You have provided a relevant response to the task by addressing both problems caused by the lack of clean water and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that summarizes the key points of your essay effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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