Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?
The
shortness
of clean drinking Replace the word
shortage
water
supply in our current world now, is tend
to increase year by year. Change the verb form
tends
This
issue is extremely important due to
the key part, that the
Correct article usage
apply
water
play
in human health in general Change the verb form
plays
.in
Correct your spelling
In
this
essay I am going to discuss the issues of lacking fresh water
and what can be done to solve this problems
.
Poor access to clean Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
water
can causses
severe hug health Correct your spelling
cause
causes
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
to
the human Change preposition
for
body
. people
who cant
reach to good clean Correct your spelling
can't
water
supply can have enormous life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
such
as, the total absent
of minerals that can be found naturally in Replace the word
absence
water
is very crucial to the brain to
function. Change preposition
brain's
moreover
, all body
organs need water
to work and do all the vital activity
that the human Fix the agreement mistake
activities
body
needs to survive . in addition
, as a results
of desperate Correct the article-noun agreement
result
to
Change preposition
for
water
some individual
will consume any kind of Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
water
even if it is undrinkable or unclean . Hence
, that will lead to the possibility of having germs and bacteria
in the human body
. for
example
when the Sudan civil war started ,some Add a comma
example,
water
wells was
destroyed and Change the verb form
were
people
forced
to drink from the dirty local river . And that leads to Add a missing verb
were forced
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
outbreak
of Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as,
malaria .
There are some steps that the government and Remove the comma
apply
people
in charge can take to reduce the effect of lacking clean fresh water
. firstly
, drilling wells across the country can be very helpful . secondly
, building dams to saves
and collect Wrong verb form
save
rains
Change the noun form
rain
water
.
Correct your spelling
Finally
finally
, counters who
are located near Correct pronoun usage
that
by
big seas or rivers can Change preposition
apply
purified
the Change the verb form
purify
water
and turning
it Wrong verb form
turn
to
usable one . Change preposition
into
for
example
Saudi Arabia is an excellent example of building dams in the south of the country and turning the Add a comma
example,
red
Sea Capitalize word
Red
water
to
Change preposition
into
drinkable
one .
In conclusion , the clean Correct article usage
a drinkable
water
supply crises
is essential Fix the agreement mistake
crisis
to
any community to survive and Change preposition
for
thrives
. it is Correct subject-verb agreement
thrive
very
challenging issue but can be overcome when Add an article
a very
the very
government
and Correct article usage
the government
people
work together to maintain and preserve water
.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your thoughts logically. The essay can benefit from a clearer structure and better paragraphing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. You tend to speak in general terms, making your argument less convincing.
language use
Improve your sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors, affecting the readability of your essay.
task response
You have provided a relevant response to the task by addressing both problems caused by the lack of clean water and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that summarizes the key points of your essay effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...