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Writing Samples
Band 5

As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problem does this have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

#tourism #people #demand #flights #enviroment #measures
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Every year tourism
numbers
 are increasing. More and more destinations are opening up and people want to explore different places of the world. Nowadays the most popular and efficient
way
 for humans to
travel
 is by air. With tourism
numbers
 increasing, there is an extended request for more
flights
. With
growing
Add an article
the growing
a growing
show examples
 demand for
flights
 comes a relevant
problem
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will introduce you to the mentioned
problem
 and provide solutions.
Firstly
, the biggest issue,
that is
 caused by increased
flights
Change the noun form
flight
show examples
numbers
, is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution. Travelling by plane is considered the most polluting
way
 to
travel
 out of all the travelling options. I came across the statistic that in 2023, in Europe 187,5 million tons of
emissions
 were created only by airplanes.
As well as
 in North America - 37,7 million tons of CO2
emissions
. CO2 is one of the main factors that strengthens the greenhouse effect. Even though we have come a long
way
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 substantially reducing pollution,
this
 is the one point that has not been talked about enough. Luckily, it is not the end of the road. There are some solutions to solve
this
problem
. I am pushing to introduce the most effective
way
 to reduce the
emissions
 number - bullet trains. It is a much more eco-friendly
way
 to
travel
. It might take more time than flying but in the
meantime
Add a comma
meantime,
show examples
 people could visit so many more countries and see so many different landscapes. In the long
run
Add a comma
run,
show examples
this
 would help reduce the growing pollution
numbers
. The second solution is banning
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
flights
. Any trip below 2 hours shouldn’t be taken by plane.
This
 would lower the
flights
Change the noun form
flight
show examples
numbers
 taken by year.
To conclude
, with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 demand for
flights
, there is a growing number of
emissions
. It is important to start addressing
this
problem
 and take action. Some of the solutions could be considering your
travel
 transport and the need for travelling by air.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
Enhance your task response by delving deeper into the problems associated with increased flights, such as noise pollution and resource depletion, in addition to CO2 emissions.
task achievement
Expand upon your ideas to provide a more comprehensive analysis. For example, discuss how bullet trains can be affordable and practical for different regions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is fully developed. Consider adding more details and evidence to support your solutions and show the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay well.
coherence cohesion
You present logical connections between tourism, the demand for flights, and environmental impact, which makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively suggest practical solutions like bullet trains and banning short-term flights, which are relevant and insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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